WHY MONSIEUR SCRIPTWRITER, WITH THESE FERRIERA ROCHER YOU REALLY SPOIL US

It is time to meet the Ferriera family and their new, exciting, instant plotlines but first all the tedious old plots.

Billy and Bad Brutha search for the dead mouse. I am vaguely amused when Billy tries to convince BB that his poofy dog is a descendant of fierce wolves. drippy says that they have to give the dead mouse a proper burial. Get a hobby, drippy. They find the mouse but Drippy is still cross that Billy lied to her and leaves him to think about the bad things that he has done.

Kyert cooks delicious Thai food for Fill. wow, she must be really good in bed, if Squeaky had tried any of that shit Fill would have been all "I don't eat that fayncy foreign muck, guvnor!" Kyert browbeats Fill into going to Rio to make things up with Babs.

Now to the Ferrieras. I spend the whole episode hoping that one of them is gay because I am sick of Gay Eunuch Bitch Pike and his complete lack of storylines. Wacky Elvis impersonator dad greets everyone and is insulted that they thought he mght be a muslim teetotaller. It turns out that he is a widower. As well as him, there is moderately foxy daughter Carina(?) - Martin tries to chat her up but she says that Dad is really strict and won't let her date, even though she is patently lying. Maybe she is a lesbitarian. Also there is a sensible bespectabled brother with floppy hair. He is an English lecturer. He is wearing a really nasty beige top with lacing at the front. Shazza gets chatting to him but Denman warns him off, inflamed with crypto-incestuous desire. Jesus Den, you don't have to shag every woman you ever meet. It's called "masturbation". Look into it. Then there is a well dressed, spiky haired Hoxton looking brother who is a DJ. He plays that knight rider sampling song on his decks and all the young girls fancy him. He has a happy go lucky mate (Tariq) who the father hates (though not because he is DJ's gay lover, sadly). There is also a Bad Seed brother who the Dad also hates and who is late. Maybe he is the gay one or maybe he was involved in the death of the mother in a freak tie-dye accident. He has a market stall (cue conflict with either the Slaters or Fowlers). Mo thinks he looks like Omar sharif but apart from him having black hair there isn't much of a resemblance, to be honest. Nanny gets drunk and makes a show of herself. poline is sad about Mark and leaves early. Various sundry chatting. All the middle aged people do Elvis karaoke. Dad finds out that Scally mate has sneaked in and strops off. All the youngsters go off clubbing except for Martin, who hangs around long enough to spy Carina making out on Losers Bench with Scally Mate. Duh duh dunnnn!