I WAS TALKING TO SLUTTY SLUT ABOUT CRAPPY CRAP

Shazza tells Denman that Vickney is pregnant and he goes "Whuh?" They have a hilarious discussion about how Vickney is no longer a girl but not yet a woman and then Denman suggests that maybe Vickney is lying to avoid being deported. Shazza is shocked and appalled at such a suggestion. Um shazza, have you met Vickney? Vick and Backstreet skip off and spend the whole day hanging around bus stops and eating chips while Shazza mithers around wringing her hands.She goes to Poline for advice but Poline is all annoying and judgemental. When Vickney gets back she makes her take a pregnancy test and - yikes - it turns out that Vickney really is pregnant!

Juhneen pops up to try and make Pat and Baz settle the Roy's House dispute out of court, but they both are determined to go all the way.

Slutty and Fool continue to inch closer together with all the passion of pandas in captivity. Fool has a date with a nice lady who a) has the same taste in music as him and b) is hot to trot but he bins her because she isn't his precious Slutty.

Simpleton continues to work her child bearing wiles on AGary by suggesting that he help think of a name for their freak genetic experiment.

Martin threatens Kareena again and then goes to laugh evilly with love rat Scalliq. Kareena confides in sensible older brother Ash who promises to have words with Martin. Meanwhile the stupid price war continues to such an extent that both the Slaters and the Ferrieras are actually paying people to take their nasty clothes away. Ash tracks Martin down and tells him to lay off. Martin is all "Yeah, whatever Brains." so Ash slams him against a wall, threatens to beat him up and Martin folds like a cheap suit (yeah, prison really toughened him up). Martin instantly grasses up Scalliq and then runs home.

Gay Pike continues with his pathetic Gay Shame non comedy sub plot. Shit, the first time he actually has a plot and it's about pretending not to be gay. Ugh. Anyway, him and his mate spend all day drinking in the Vic and making fools of themselves. Martin is supposed to look after the stall, but he doesn't because work is like so uncool, daddio. Pike and his mate start to clear away the stall but they are so drunk that they just end up rolling round on the floor in mounds of crushed lettuce. Some coppers come by and arrest them for being drunk and disorderly. Good.