POPE SHAZZA

Gay Pike lurks in the aisle of the Kwik-E-Mart and jumps out to try and thwart Mafia Martin's shoplifting spree. I guess he is Martin's full time archenemy/nemesis type thing now. He tries to drag Poline off to Malta so that Martin will have to go on the stall. Umm, that's a bit random. Later he tries to get Poline to talk to Martin and she pulls a pissy face. She asks if Martin is ready to go back to work and he starts moaning that he is still all traumatised etc and then pulls a smug face behind her back.

Juhneen talks to Baz about the trial some more.

Kellay is sick of living with the Slaters and browbeats Teen into moving into Robbie's old flat with her.

Charlie and Dadvis have a boring talk about their dead wives and wacky families. Dadvis talks bollocks about how he is in total control of his family while the editor undermines him by cutting to his family all doing secret things like talking about Scalliq and running off to do whatever it is that Market Holder Brother does off camera every week.

Vickney puts on a brave face and declines offers from Poline and Backstreet to accompany her to the abortion clinic. Vickney's acting does not totally irritate me for the first time ever. Backstreet buys a retarded toy dog and stares at it dementedly for hours before finally discarding it like his boyish childhood innocence or something. Vickney comes out of the clinic and looks sad. Later on, fucking annoying Shazza traps her in the kitchen and bleats on about how she had an abortion and now she can't have kids because she had an infection and didn't take the antibiotics. "I don't want you to make the same mistake as me" she says. What mistake would that be? Be too stupid to follow a prescription?

Slutty phones in sick rather than confront Fool with her secret love. She talks to Sullen about what to do but then Sullen runs off to fornicate with annoying gary so Slutty goes and hangs around with Drippy instead. They get drunk and act really badly - I suppose Drippy used up all her acting powers in the Psycho Trevor storyline because she is really awful these days. Drippy empowers Slutty and makes her feel like a natural woman again, or something. In the end Slutty gets really really drunk and tells Fool that she loves him and wants to jump his bones etc. Of course, they drag it out for as long as possible. Fool stares at her like an idiot.