THIS IS NOT DEN'S BEAUTIFUL WIFE

Kyert! Fill! Denman! Fill tells Den to git art! Den smirks off and tells Kyert to give him a bell once the tellietubby is out of the way. Yes, he actually calls Fill a tellietubby. Heh. Fill runs off after him and so Den starts taunting Fill with sexy talk about Kyert, Fill smacks him, rips a brick out of the wall with his bare hand (grrr! Fill smash!) and is about to batter Den when Kyert runs out in her dressing gown and does her "Leave him Fill, he isn't worth it!" routine. Classy. Pscho Nanny lurks in the shrubbery, grinning scarily and muttering "dance, my little puppets! dance!" (probably). Kyert drags him back inside and they have a really really long boring conversation about whether Kyert is a slagggg and whether or not Fill trusts her. Fill doesn't seem too pleased that Kyert is the type to be drinking wine, flouncing round in her nighty and running baths in the middle of the afternoon.

Shazza shouts at vickney and threatens to send her back to america. Vickney is all contrite and tells a sad story about how she used to dream of living with Shazza when she was a kid. Shazza says "I just don't know" and does her flouncy lip twitching thing.

Carina tells Scalliq that Martin is blackmailing her. Scalliq tries to weasel out of doing anything but in the end says he will talk to Martin - he goes and asks him for a cut of the Great Jacket Scam.

Den goes and drinks vodka in the Vic, where he is mocked and disparaged by not only Slutty, but also Sham and Psycho Nanny. Harsh. Vickney finds him and begs him to talk to Shazza about being deported.

Kyert: "It's about trust Fill! Trust. Fill, it's about trust" etc etc for three hours. Fill says "Oh OK" but then finds the tell tale watch that Nanny hid in their bedroom. They then have the same goddamn conversation all over again for another three hours. It turns out that Babs disowned him when he told her about Kyert, btw. Kyert admits that she kind of had the hots for Den for a few seconds until her Stockholm Syndrome reasserted itself and she remembered pig face Fill.

Shazza and Den have a dramatic conversation where she accuses him of not being able to relate to women without shagging them and of being generally fucked up. Well said, Shazz. Den says that shazza is also fucked up with her weird pretend family arrangements and even manages to act a bit in the process. well done Den. Shazza says "yes, you're right" and then tells Vickney that she's going to send her back to America definitely this time. Vickney: sad. Den stomps off.

Kyert and Fill agree that they still love each other. Fill finds Den, drops his watch on the floor in front of him and tells him to watch his step. Den is left all alone in the Square, he sees various ladies that he has dissed and his sisters wandering around in the distance, pulls a gurny face and looks for a sec like he is going to drop to his knees and shout "Noooooo!!" but he doesn't.