Yeah well it's Christmas and I've been far too busy doing family stuff...

So, Jaymee's deaded, Drippy's married, and Simpleton is at the Slaters. Martin has been arrested, but he's out on bail so that we can all share his pain. Ian offers his dodgy lawyer's services, which is enough to make Martin run off. Which he does. Well, as far as the allotments, where Mark (...ummm...yeah, I know. I'm as puzzled as you are) talks him into facing the music.

Fill is ignoring Mini Fill and being horrible to everybody. No change there then. After shouting at all and sundry, including Pat, he returns home to confess to Babs that he can't bear the sight of Mini Fill because his love for her drove him to do horrible things and kick Jaymee about. And somehow Squeaky is blamed for everything that has ever happened to him. Ever.

Chez Perv, Dr Perv is getting ready for an afternoon session of Perv Lerve with Slutty. But Teen is still on the Perv stalk, and Kellay her acting-challenged mate tells her to go and see him.

Babs is in the middle of funeral preparations, but finds time to dump Pa Slater.

Obviously wracked with guilt, AG tries to get Simpleton chucked out. When Sullen reminds him that everybody makes mistakes, and Ian tells her that Simpleton is Evil Incarnate, he tells Simpleton to have an abortion. Actually, come to think of it...

Moomin tells Poline that The Ring has lost its power since Jaymee died, and that she bears no bitterness towards Martin. She's also thinking about giving up nursing again. Mind you I don't think the NHS will miss her.

Slutty and Dr Perv have a short argument about Perv's lerve. Slutty cries. They rip their clothes off and run upstairs to shag like rabbits. Trini Dad lets a glammed up Teen in to stalk Dr Perv better. Teen rushes upstairs with a bottle of wine and...duh duh-duh duh