ha ha ha! The episode starts with a Waynes world style x-treme close up of Jaymee's crumpled body. Despite his sudden introduction to Mr Car Radiator, there is not a mark or a drop of blood on him. Seriously, I bleed more than that when I shave each morning. Martin and Backstreet make gurny faces and debate what to do. Backstreet is all for adding the "-and run" to the situation but Martin decides to stay. The flower lady asks "Is he local?" Whoah. League of Gentlemen flashback. They call an ambulance and Martin stands and pulls faces while Backstreet goes to find Sonia.

Drippy finds out about the gospel wedding and doesn't mind. But she teases Billy anyway. What-evuh.

Dr Perv begs Slutty to carry on shagging him but Slutty says that if she had to choose between him and Teen she would choose Teen in a second any day of the week. Dr Perv is sad. I suppose no-one explained to him that shagging your ex's Mum is a bit of a faux pas.

The cops question Martin, in the end he admits that he doesn't have a license and was txting on his phone. Poline and Gay Pike are shocked and appalled.

The ambulance arrives and they spend hours poking Jaymee and trying to discover what is wrong with hm. I suppose it is very difficult when there is no sign of external injury, whatsoever. Babs and Fill show up and are sad etc.

Backstreet arrives at the pub and cries. Ethel 2.0 is around and being annoying. When the cops question him he sticks up for Martin and says Jaymee appeared out of nowhere. He also signs his name as Backstreet Moon, instead of Backstreet WHOEVER. I guess this is going to be important for later.

Eventually Moomin stumbles across the accident site and bodily hurls 3 cops aside to get closer to Jaymee. She assumes Fill has battered him. Fill: sad. Martin says that it was him. Jesus Martin, first you knock her up and then you kill her boyfriend. Like, get a hobby or something. She rides in the ambulance with Jaymee and Fill makes his own way to the hospital. Jim and Robbie go home because that is apparently a better idea than keeping Sonia company whilst the love of her life slowly kicks the bucket.

At the hospital, Moomin and Fil snipe a bit but then kind of make up for the time being. Whilst Sonia is on the phone, Fill talks to the doctor and finds out that Jaymee has to have an operation to control his internal bleeding (because there certainly isn't a problem with external bleeding.) The doctor admits that Jaymee will probably croak anyway but when Fill sees Sonia's big moomin eyes he tells her that he is going to be alright. Sonia starts crying with relief and thanking the Lord and Fill looks a bit hapless.