WAITING FOR GO-DOT
Oh, I always seem to end up doing the two-hander episodes. They are normally quite good but they're really hard to recap because there's loads of dialogue and nothing much actually happens... (ed: dry your eyes and get on with it.)

Okayyyy. Dot weeps in the laundrette. O-den moodily wanders the streets moodily. He is jostled by a bunch of rampaging spides in Top Shop shirts and tells them to watch what they are doing. The spides mock him and call him "grand dad" and "has been" (probably). The spides see the laundrette door is open and go in - these are the lamest spides ever, shouldn't they be in a Wetherspoons drinking Aftershock and Red Bull cocktails or something? One of the spides has a wack mullet and another one is quite tall and cute. They bang around while Dot cowers in the back room. O-Den comes in and tells them to beat it. He stares them down and they all run away - perhaps they are worried that he will get his "webcam" out or something. Dot peeks through a crack in the door and sees O-den sit on the bench and sigh and rest his weary brow etc. She pops out and thanks him for saving her from the spides.

Meanwhile, Jim settles down to watch TV and toasts his wedding pic with a can of faux-brand lager.

Meanwhile, Denman and his boyish haircut tidy up the living room. Teen apologises (for what? for being too sexy for her father-in-law to resist?) but Denman tells her not to worry. She asks if he is going to look for O-Den and Denman says "Am I fuck!"

Dot locks O-Den in, makes him get her a sherry from her secret stash and then gives him gives the 3rd degree. She asks him if he is alright and then tries to make him admit that he fucked up with LadyDen (apparently, even Poline liked her - it must have been the invisible haircut!) and that he is too old to be arsing around with loose chicks like Kyert and that he wishes that he still had Lady Den etc. She busts out the amateur psychology and says that she thinks O-Den screws around because he is afraid of intimacy and having a real relationship. O-Den: "No! Leave me alone! shut up! etc." Also he has a go at her for smoking. Dot pops into the other room to have a spasm of pain and then goes back and carries on nagging him. She says that he'll haunt him if he doesn't get his shit together and hints that she is poorly. O-Den sarcastically asks if she has got Ebola Virus or something so Dot drops the Cancer Bombshell.

dun dun dunhhhh!

Jim appears to be watching Butterflies with wendy craig. Perhaps they have UK Gold or something. He eventually notices that Dot is not back yet and sets off to find her.

O-Den asks about Dot's disease and says he will do anything and give her any amount of money to get a quick operation. Bless. Dot says she doesn't want an operation and is resigned to dying etc. O-Den asks what Jim has to say about all this and Dot is all "Oh, is that the time, I must be going!" O-Den quickly guesses that she hasn't told him and accuses her of being a hypocrite and being unfair to him. Dot confesses that they have been fighting because Jim keeps making plans for the future and Dot is all "whatever!" O-Den says that Dot can't hide her cancer forever and that Jim is going to find out and be cross that she never told him. Dot is sad. O-Den admits that he is old and tired and that he fucked up with LadyDen, hit Denman and that his kids all despise him.

Jim shows up so they let him in and O-Den surreptitiously squeezes Dot's hand. O-Den goes home to find Denman - he apologises for smacking him but Denman isn't that bothered. O-Den says he wants some time to himself so Denman and Teen go off to the club. O-Den looks at a card with LadyDen's phone number on it - like it wouldn't be programmed into his mobile - and dials her number.

Jim and Dot get home. Jim asks what he has done wrong and begs Dot to tell him so he can try not to do it in future. Dot says that Jim is smashing but that they need to have a proper talk. Jim goes off to put on the kettle and bust out the custard creams. Dot makes a heartbreaking scared face.

Dot was great in this but O-Den was merely average. Oh well - hurrah for June Brown!!