THEY CALL ME MRS BRANNING!
MMartin is worried about this new-look, unselfish Poline. "She's messing with my mind!" he wails at Moomin. Moomin points out that she'd have to find evidence of brain activity first before she could mess with it. They shut the stall and trot off to look at new Moomin homes. They find a really expensive one that appears to be a door in an ivy-covered stage flat, and Martin promises to use his freakish Freudian powers on Poline to get her to sub them for the grossly inflated rent. But Poline has other plans. She tells them that she's been to the council, and discovered that she can buy Chez Fowler off the council at huge discount and then they can all live together and she can pass on the house to them when she dies! Moomin looks sour and momentarily forgets that she works in a hospital. With access to drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

Mysterious George won't go out, and he eats raw onions for breakfast. He tries to cook a comedy dinner for Juley and MYGus, but it's horrible. They order pizza and discuss the beating-up of Kwik-E-Mart Lady. Mysterious George reckons the miscreant should have his hands cut off or something, and the camera does that "dooooomed" close-up thing.

Lame-o basketball plot continues. I realise that I dislike Greasy because he looks a bit like the idiot landscape gardener who has spent three months laying a patio and building a fence in our front yard and still hasn't finished it. So anyway, Greasy gets picked on by some "nasty lads" (© BBC site), probably working under the influence of the Midwich Beale Twins, who stare intently from the sidelines. BB leaps to Greasy's defence and the rest of the team threaten to strike. How can they possibly play basketball? Some of them are shorter than my six-month-old daughter. Anyway, Greasy drops himself from the team and BB worries that his magical basketball coaching abilities have deserted him.

Poor old Dot has to go off for her CAT scan. Dennis drives her there in Andy's car - eh? what is going on with those two? And why can't the Wattses afford their own car? Dot is patronised by a nurse and bites back, demanding respect and dignity as is befitting a married lady of advanced years. Go Dot! I mean...Mrs Branning! Nurse tries to swallow the wasp she is forced to chew, and tells Dot she'll be fine. Dot sits in a corridor, surrounded by sick people. You know they're sick because they're wearing hospital nighties and groaning. Then Lovely Denman appears with his crinkly grin, and holds Dot's hand comfortingly until she is called. Denman drives her home, and Dot worries some more about being ill. Poor Dot.