LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS
MY Gus and Juley argue about whether or not to grass up George the Kwik-E-Mart bandit. Gus goes off to work and Juley criticises George for beating up a woman. George says it was only an accident and that Juley should just shut up and nick him a car so he can make his daring getaway. While Juley wanders round doing an impression of the world's worst car thief, Gus sneaks back to the flat and cunningly finds the pile of Kwik E mart cash in the first pocket of George's rucksack that he tries. George suddenly appears and raises one eyebrow in the style of Roger Moore. Gus says he is going to phone the police but George dashes the phone to the ground and stamps on it with his Uma Thurman style tiger trainers. He throws Gus onto the couch, shouts that him and Juley are from a different world (Clichopolis - planet of the cliched crime storyline) and tells him to stop meddling or else. When Juley comes home, Gus has changed into a sexy vest, is making puppy dog eyes and nursing a split lip. George shouts woodenly that Juley has to get a car. Juley goes out again and makes a face to show that he is wrestling with his conscience. He comes back and brings the police with him. Gus smiles smugly as George is dragged away shouting "It would have worked if it hadn't been for those meddling kids, etc".

Jim is suddenly going on about going to India in a few months time to visit Robbie and Nita. Dot keep saying she doesn't want to go but Jim won't shut up about it so she takes him to the Arghee Bhaji for his tea instead to make up for it - yeah, like they are really comparable. While they are there, Doktor Boden-Shirt comes in and mutters to Dot that she ought to change her mind re cancer treatment/telling Jim etc etc. Dot won't be budged. When Jim gets back from the toilet he asks Dot if she has decided what she is having to eat. Dot makes a wise face and says "Yes, I've made my choice." Do you see what they did there, readers? Do you? Do you?

Gay Pike reprimands BadBrutha for the reefer madness outbreak in the community centre, while some extras pretend to do yoga in the background. Pike explains about his previous maryjane conviction and says that BB did a very bad thing. Bb goes to talk to Greasy but Greasy basically says "Tough luck, grandad" and sods off. Good. Devil Child Lucy sees BB wandering around and gives him such a satanic, trying-to-focus-my-ungodly powers type glare that I am surprised he doesn't spontaneously combust. Ian is moving house, helped by Kyert and PantoJane. The women both cackle and tease Ian alot, make fun of his ceramic knick knacks and are generally annoying. One of the removal men is Winston! Who is selling second hand Dido CD's while all this is going on? That's what I want to know. PantoJane is back to full-on thigh slapping mode and keeps asking Kyert about Ian's exes. Kyert makes a "why aye, what's going on here?" look. The devil children are talking about the reefer madness and Ian overhears and goes mental that they turned down free drugs. Only joking. He goes and shouts at Gay Pike and Pike immediately grasses up Bad Brutha. ("grasses" up - ha ha ha ha.)

TriniDad and Yolande go "role playing" - I bet that TriniDad is a loveable half elf fighter-thief and Yolande is a 12th level cleric (actually it is something to do with being a foster parent...) They come back and try and make BB join in but he can't be arsed and it is all a bit shit, not unlike this storyline. While they are poncing around, Ian storms in and treats them to the Wrath of Bealemeister. He says that he is going to grass BB up to the Social Services on account of his shocking behaviour. BB is all "does that mean I can't be a basketball teacher any more. boo frigging hoo", while Trinidad and Yolande both glare at him.

Ian goes home and carries on ranting to Kyert and Jane. Jane tells him to shut up and not do anything hasty - could this be the plucky lady who can quench Bealemeister's fiery temper?? The women are trying to get a mattress upstairs and Ian steps in to help. Predictably him and Jane fall over onto the mattress together and giggle like idiots. Kyert makes a "why aye, what's going on here?" look. Again.

Back at the Trueman's, BB is still complaining about Ian being a dick. Trinidad shouts "You could have damaged our chances to foster, you fool!" and bulges his eyes out. Seriously, that was the cliffhanger ending.