THIS MARKY’S GONE TO HEAVEN PART 2: ELECTRIC FUNEROO
By Mark
It is the day of Mark’s funeral. Contrary to what I had heard, the only “face from the past” that shows up is Dr Leg. What a con. I was hoping for Portishead Ruth and Diane-droid to show up too.

Slutty follows Fool around nagging him about the money until he admits finally that yes, he is in total hock to Byrite Andy. He mutters a few platitudes about being able to sort it all out with his cockernee Moon charm and Slutty says “Yes dear” and looks thoughtful. She goes to see Andy and asks him to cut them some slack seeing as how they looked after him when he was beaten up. Andy repeats the Indecent Proposal, shagging = cash offer and Slutty shrieks that he is disgusting and runs away. Meanwhile Fool pays Simpleton £30 cash in hand to do some cleaning and Juhneen spots her and grasses her up to the social security office. Cow.

Mickney has some comedy scenes with Big Mo, Teen continues to lech over Denman and Backstreet’s boxing training and then goes home to write "slash fiction" about them and post it on the internet. Maybe.

Before the actual funeral, Martin is sad as there were letters from Mark for Pike and Poline but nothing for him. He says he won’t speak at the funeral. They all get togged up in black and Poline wears a numpty hat.

Big car, flowers, funeral-o-rama. Everyone goes apart from the Ferrieras and the Moons. Poline wants to walk alone with the hearse and everyone else drives in the big cars. At the funeral, Mark’s nurse from the orspital shows up and says that Mark used to talk about Martin all the time – he gives Martin a letter from Mark that got separated from the others. Martin gets up and makes up a speech about weeding or something. He is not bad this episode. More funeral sadness.

Afterwards they all go to the Vic apart from Martin who goes and hides out at home. O-Den goes and sits with Poline and tells a nice story about Mark playing football in the mud when he was a kid. Pike finds out that Mark conisdered him family and says that yes, he is glad to be fake Fowler (Faux-ler?). Freak. Moomin goes to get Martin and finds him sat clutching the Letter. He is too nervous to read it. Moomin Powers Activate!!! She takes the letter and reads it out to him. It is basically Mark saying nice things about Martin. She gets to the part where Mark gives him advice about chicks (from mr loverman (shabba!) Mark? Yeah right) and is too shy to read that bit so Martin reads it out. Basically Mark says that a good heart is hard to find and that if Martin meets a special laydee he should keep hold of her. Martin tells Moomin that he lurves her. Moomin lurves him back. They go to the Vic.

Poline gives a little speech and says that Mark would want everyone to be happy and have a nice time. They play "The Days" by Kirsty McColl and Poline dances with Pike. They see Martin and Sonia come in with their arms round each other and all smile at each other. Nicely done but still not the Biggest EE Funeral Evah!