JUST ONE DAY OUT OF LIFE, IT SHOULD BE, IT SHOULD BEEEE SO NICE
The oldsters (Poline and pike, Dot and Jim, Trinidad and Yolande) are getting ready for their Club 80-130 break. Pike has produced a giant shiny renault espace type vehicle from somewhere to drive them all to the holiday camp. While they are packing, Trinidad shows Bad Brotha the engagement ring he has bought for Yolande. Let's just say Liberace would complain that it was overstated. Yolande overhears them talking about the proposal and acts all smug. Poline moans at Pike because he is taking some books to read on holiday. Moomin has gone ker-azy with the curling tongs. Jim shows her a heinous barbie pink shiny dress that he has bought as a surprise for Dot.

Poline and Dot both flap around about leaving Martin and Moomin alone and then they drive off. Moomin has her driving test and Martin wishes her luck and says he is looking forward to a weekend of sweet loving, sexy mama. Moomin passes her driving test (maybe the driving examiner took pity on her wack hair and vile, germolene coloured anorak) but then has to go to work. Martin prepares a healthy low calory meal (and it is very nice to see a boy cooking on EE without it turning into a shite non comedy subplot of ineptitude). Backstreet tries to tempt Martin into holding a party at theirs but Martin just wants to spend time with Moomin. At the hospital a cute male nurse says that Sonia is "needed" ... ruh roh.

The oldsters stop at a service station. Jim and Trinidad have a go on a DanceDance Revolution style arcade game ("your moves are extraordinary"!) while Dot and Yolande cringe in embarrassment. Dot and Yolande discuss the proposal. Meanwhile Poline flirts outrageously with the first middle aged man who holds a door open for her. Slut. Sadly he is with another woman. Pike moans a bit about being Poline's bitch all the time.

They arrive at Kamp Pontins-Luft XIII. Pike is left to do all the checking in etc while everyone else swans around and ogles nubile bathing beauties (Trinidad and Jim) or the middle aged mr-big-from-sex-and-the-city looking entertainments manager (poline, who is OUT OF CONTROL this episode). They go to their rooms, which look like cells in a progressive young offenders institute, and Jim shows the vile dress to Dot. Dot says she never likes being the centre of attention and tells him to take it back, but then regrets her harsh words. Jim is sad. Meanwhile, Dot and Pike have been booked accidentally into a double room. Pike moans some more about being Polines bitch and says "I'm not your husband, yo!"

Pike sits in his room and reads while the others go dancing. There is a ballroom dancing competition which Dot refuses to enter, for now... The ballroom is lined with peach ruched satin and has a man playing a wurlitzer on a stage. It is the tenth circle of hell, people. Dot and Jim are not really talking after the dress debacle (fyi, dot is wearing a navy blue dress with a white sailors collar - you are not a japanese choolgirl, dot!). Jim has a chance to moan to Trinidad about marraige being shit and relays a garbled version of dot & yolande's conversation which makes it sound as though Yolande is anti-marraige. trinidad has to rethink his proposal technique. poline appears in a black trouser suit with glittery highlights. What a surprise, the man from the service station is there too. An elderly Mr-Burns-from-the-Simpsons lookalike asks Poline to dance. The man from the service station (I have totally forgotten his characters name so I will call him Blokey for now) cuts in and Mr Burns is left sulking on the sidelines muttering "release the hounds, smithers" to no avail. Blokey says he is there with his sister (crypto incest alert!) and flirts with Poline. I think someone is getting lucky tonight...

Trinidad proposes to Yolande (who is wearing a totally OTT plum coloured ball gown, btw) by saying it will be advantageous for tax and legal purposes. Yolande is sad that he is being so unromantic and says no. Doh.

Mr Burns and blokey start bickering about who gets to dance with Poline. Jesus, they must be desperate. It is just getting to "pistols at dawn" when Rob the entertainments manager steps in to calm them down. At that moment Gay Pike decides to show up and him and Rob recognise each other. Oh my god, Pike has actually shagged someone? It looks like someone else will be getting lucky too... Gay Pike: eunuch no more!