MURDER ON THE DANCEFLOOR
Rob turns out to be the bloke that Pike left his wife for (maybe, I wasn't really paying attention as the actor playing Rob is really annoying and over-acktorly and got on my nerves). Poline makes some snitty remarks about not being Pike's wife and leaves them to chat. She dances with Blokey a bit (was he Egg's dad in This Life? I am sure I recognise him from somewhere) and then goes to bed.

Rob and Pike go and have a boring talk. Poetry is quoted. It turns out that Pike left Rob with no explanation and has never spoken to him since. Rob still loves Pike (cough*co-dependent*cough) but Pike is still scared of his inner gaylordery and refuses to let himself go. They wander round and talk for hours and hours.

Jim and Trinidad get drunk and moan about their ungrateful women. It can be summarised thus: "why can't a woman be more like a man" and then "can't live with them, can't live without them."

Yolande and Dot moan about their useless menfolk and dance with each with snooty expressions on their faces.

It turns out that Jim entered T'n'Y into a lame "Mister and Missis" style competition before the row (Dot: "What have you been and gorn and done, Jim Branning?"). They are dragged up on stage and asked lame questions about favourite colours etc. Trinidad mutters "I don't know anything about this crazy wench". Yolande runs away crying. I am also crying. Because I am so bored.

Pike and Rob: blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Back at the 'ford, Martin waits for Sonia. I think you'd better put that bottle of asti back in the fridge, mate. In the end he strops off to the offy to buy some tins and Backstreet mentions that he saw Moomin going into an indian restaurant. Martin storms off and finds her with cute male nurse and some other nurses who don't get any lines. Sonia follows him outside and they argue about Sonia going out with her friend. Actually it was pretty inconsiderate of Sonia not to let Martin know what she was doing. Martin then moans that he doesn't like fancy new Sonia who wears ugly New Look clothes and is on a diet, etc. Sonia says she is not going back to being frumpy old school fat Sonia, whom everyone pitied. They split up.

In their room, Yolande looks at the dress and says that Jim meant well and was trying to bring out another side of Dot - the Barbie obsessed, drag queen side? Dot agrees that maybe buying her a dress is not the worst thing that Jim could have done. Yolande thinks about forgiving Trinidad. They go to bed.

Jim and Trinidad "entertain" us with their drunk "acting". It is very boring. They talk bollocks for hours and end up accidentally swapping keys. Trinidad stumbles into bed with Dot. Oh, my sides they are splitting. With this hilarity you are really spoiling us, Mr scriptwriter.

Pike goes back to Rob's chalet to spend the night "drinking port and talking". So that's what the young people are calling it nowadays? You go with your bad self, Pike.

Poline is woken at 2.30 am by some wolves howling or a banshee's eldritch cry or something. The curse of the Fowlers has struck again! When she looks at her clock there is a big photo of Mark in shot, so I think we can all guess what has happened.

Martin is sulking at home. There is a phone call for Poline but Martin says he is her son and gets the news instead. It makes him go all lip-trembly and sad. He runs round to Sonia's and bangs on the door - when she lets him in he tells her that Mark is dead.