IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIIIIR
Boy oh boy is O-Den on a roll. Shazza's in the kitchen, wearing battered wife non-makeup and tousled, unshiney hair; Vickney's in her room, and Denman is twitching on Dot's sofa. Way to go, mate.

Where do we start? Well, O-Den and Shazz talk. Shazz stares at the table, nursing her huuge bruise (did Denman really hit her that hard? It looks like she's done ten rounds with a doorframe), while O-Den says that he didn't say nothing, well OK, he might have said something to provoke Denman. Actually, come to think of it, maybe he did come on a bit strong with the kiddy fiddling crack, but Denman would have kicked off anyway because he's a psycho...long line of psychos...blah blah. And there's a hint that maybe O-Den wasn't making it all up and Knows More Than He's Letting On. Vickney appears every now and again to tell O-Den to leave Shazz alone, but gets sent away to annoy Poline instead. Vickney just wants everything back the way it was. Weirdo.

Denman is twitching on the Brannings' sofa while Jim hovers outside, dukes at the ready, in case he goes beserk again. Dot's on hand with the tea and saintliness. Denman alternately twitches, then glowers, then twitches again as Dot tries to tell him that it's not his fault and everybody could see he was trying to take a swing at Den. Denman goes back to Weird Family Central to clear his name, but O-Den won't let him in. O-Den switches his manipulation dial to 11, and persuades Shazz (now cowering on the stairs) that she doesn't want to see him. Meanwhile Denman tries to open the door with his forehead and screams a lot until Shazz says: "go away". If he tried that in Peckham, there'd be a small crowd gathered on the pavement offering suggestions and praying for his blighted soul, but not in Walford.

Bad Brutha's out and about again, preparing for the return of TrinDad and Yolande. They had a lovely time, thank you very much, and we can look forward to the return of the Unconvincing Urchin very soon. Ohhh...shit.

Everybody is overturning MYGus's carefully arranged rubbish bags, or driving into them menacingly (Byrite Andy's Henchpersons of Patheticness). The Bealemeister pauses to sneer, and accidentally drops his wallet into a pile of Gus's rubbish. Gus picks it up, stuffs it in his pocket and forgets about it until he's in the pub. There's a huge wad of cash inside, and Gus is Tempted. Then Moomin comes along, activates her Moomin powers, and steers Gus back to the path of Righteousness, for which he is rewarded with a kiss on the lips from Ian. Ewww (though some people might find that reward enough, I'm surprised that it doesn't send MYGus straight to the nearest crack den).


DJ Ross and the Ferreira Kidz are moaning about there being no cereal or jam. Ash says: "Uh...we're broke...remember?" More moaning, then Adull finds some sweaty old rocker t-shirts and decides to have a "retro" day on the stall. Tariq starts pimping DJ Ross to the kidz parties and barmitzvah crowd (DJ Ross's "but I'm an ARTIST" schtick falls on deaf ears, like his DJing, methinks); Ash gets a tutoring job that means he has to read Beowulf (poor sod). But all their efforts raise little cash and the Kidz are despondent. Though how playing "Come On Eileen" on the stall was going to help them raise £6k was going to help, I don't know. Why don't they just call an uncle? Or Madhur? She must be back from her recipe-finding tour by now.

Byrite senses that it's time to close the deal with Shazz, and slimes over to WFC with the contracts. O-Den stops him just in time and tells Shazz that he's sold up his crack whore empire in Spain and is now minted, so he'll bankroll the club, adding in a few sideswipes at poor Denman, who's still twitching and glowering in the park. Byrite makes "Grrr....foiled by meddling O-Den!" faces, and tells Sham that the club is still a Watts club. Sham realises that Byrite is a spineless bitch, and goes off to "check the books". Two words Sham: "Laptop" and "Spreadsheet".

Alfie's shirt is a true masterpiece of hideousness. He can't get the money together, even after Sham offers him a small pay-rise. Byrite gets all sharky again, and demands a double payment next week.

Phew! Action packed ep, isn't it?

O-Den runs into St Dot, who has a go about Denman. His problem, says Dot, is that he was never loved enough, and now he has no-one to love him at all. Den drove Ange to drink and now he's driving Denman into the clutches of Byrite, says Dot. O-Den goes: "Phffff...like I care what the mother of Nick Cotton thinks". Dot looks sad, yet still saintly. Denman has taken to glowering around the war memorial and getting tempted by Devil Man Byrite. He decides that the only way out is to become a Half-Assed Henchperson, and takes up Byrite's offer. Byrite exits, singing Sly & the Family Stone classics, while Denman makes "Hulk...mad!" faces and battles feebly with his fellow henchpersons.