VICKNEY SEARS?
Rickay doesn't want to work for Juhneen as he feels loyal to Fill. Juhneen says that Rickey can have Ultimate Greasemonkey Power if he comes to work for her and generally lays big doses of emotional blackmail on him. Rickay says "will I be a partner?" Juhneen says "Yes... eventually, like in 2050 or something" Rickay agrees and they hug and drink to their new business venture.

Fool and Slutty argue for about half an hour about the stupid plastic boxes. The highpoint is when Slutty says "Storage is storage!". I say no more. In the end they make up and chase each other round the pub, squealing hysterically.

Billy turns off all the security systems and pours some whiskey (mmm, whiskey) onto a cushion to start a fire. Then, instead, he decides to think about it, look conflicted, drink the delicious whiskey as god intended, etc etc. Meanwhile Vickney puts bottles on the shelves - incredibly slowly as if they are full of ntroglycerine instead of cheapo booze.

Sullen finds that Drippy is sitting up in the dark. Drippy needs to sort her hair out. She talks about how she thought that Billy had forgiven her but then he fucked off again. Drippy moans that she thought it would be easy to have her rapists bastard child but that it is turning out to be surprisingly complicated. Sullen dares to express an opinion of her own so Drippy tells her to go away.

Sham and Minty eat Indian food while Sham flashes her cleavage at every man in the restaurant so that they remember her. Minty keeps blinking coquettishly, stroking Sham's hand etc. I think someone has a little crush. Sham calls him "Mints" but it sounds like she says "Mince" instead. Tee hee.

Kellay comes out of her room and starts to talk to Teen. After about two seconds they are shrieking at each other like fishwives - fishwives who are very far away form each other. At one point Teen tells Kellay to keep it down and Kellay shouts "why? are you worried the neighbours will fink we're LEZ-BE-ANS!" Kellay does wierd stagey things like get up off one chair and then going to sit on another chair about three fee away. In the end Kellay says that she isn't gay, actually, but loves Teen and just snogged her because she thought she was going to die. Teen says that she kissed her back as she thought she was going to die too. That's OK then.

Vickney - must... move.... bottles.... slowly...

Billy looks at a picture of him and Drippy and then uses the photo to light the fire. Fwoosh! What a drama queen. He then runs away and bumps into Scalliq outside. Scalliq is drunk - no doubt drowning his sorrows over DJ Ross' hard heartedness. Billy then goes to sit in the caff where he is mocked by Denman some more. Backstreet sees smoke coming out of Angie's Den and runs into the caff to squeal a bit before calling 999. Mickey squeaks "Vickney's in there!" Billy starts freaking out and they all run over to the club, apart from Denman who goes to check whether Vickney is at home.

Vickney finally notices that smoke is coming under the door. She starts making her way towards a fire extinguisher (instead of, say, the exit) before coughing a bit and collapsing under a pump of product-placed Caffreys Beer.

Billy, Backstreet and Mickey mill around outside the club before Billy decides that he's going in. Shaz and denman show up. Shazza squeals "Oh no! I lost Hero Fireman Tom to a flamey firey death! I can't lose Vickney the same way!" Ha ha ha. Billy spends half an hour looking round the flamey, hot, firey, etc etc club (I don't think it is that big...) before finally heading for the product placement and spotting Vickney. He carries her out and passes her to the ambulance men who give her oxygen etc. Shaz and Denman praise Billy for his heroics. Billy is embarassed, as well he should be. Sham and Minty show up and then run away again. Vickney is rushed off to hospital.

A car drives into the square and dumps a body in the gutter. Fool and Slutty are making up after their incredibly boring argument when there is a knocking on the door. In the end Fool answers and Byrite Andy collapses on the floor. It looks like he has been attacked, or at least his face has been attacked with a red felt tip pen...