THE SHAW-SHAM REDEMPTION
Mo can't sell her dodgy Russian fags until Teen points out that people in Hoxditch will buy any old shite as long as it is imported. Mo goes round all the "poncey wine bars" and sells all her fags and then runs off to find Mickey to buy some more. Meanwhile, Kellay and Teen spot that Kareena is sad about Scalliq and offer to give her a make over and trick him into meeting her. Their make-over tenplate is Olivia Newton John at the end of Grease. Ha ha ha. Xanadu would have been better though. Scalliq appears to have the pelt of a mangy dog sewn onto the hood of his coat. When he shows up at the secret renezvous, Kareena has big hair, lots of make up and is wearing a red spangly halter neck top. she doesn't look bad, actually. If Scalliq has chills which are multiplying then he certainly doesn't lose control and runs away when she tries to kiss him.

Dot and Poline have words about Martin/Moomin. Dot: against. Poline: for

Shazza and Denman bicker about what to do about the club. Shazza contemplates phoning O-Den but then doesn't. They make up and Denman says he will support her whatever she wants. I bet he will. Denman mocks Sham for relying on Andy and she makes a disparaging comment about the size of Denman's cock.

Sham discovers that Andy is recovered enough to leave the Vic and desperately offers more sex if he will stay. Andy: Thanks but no thanks. Andy is wandering off when he is accosted by heavies who say he is no longer welcome on the mean streets of Ilford. The main heavy is a stubbly lunk with a giant chin who looks exactly like Desperate Dan - bribe him with cow pies, Andy! Byrite slinks back to Sham but then I miss a bit. Doh.

Nat is surprised and pissed off that Rickay is moving in with Juhneen. Gus is sad and starts looking for a new flatmate. They have farewell drinks at the Vic and Sham homophobically mocks their pure bond of manly friendship. When they move over to Juhneen's, Juhneen tells Liam that it is better to be spoiled than to grow up to be a rapacious, whoring, gold-digging murderess so she will buy him anything he ever wants. There is some carry on with Juhneen throwing away Baz's 70's records (David Bowie? I don't think so - it would be non-stop Racey and Darts for Baz) and Pat finding them. Juhneen makes excuses that it is all part of her coping-with-the-grief extravaganza. Later on Bad Brutha (who has been moping/drinking/sitting on Losers Bench all ep) starts muttering that Juhneren is dangerous and bad to the bone etc. Pat makes an anxious face.