VILE BODIES
It's all a bit weird in the Square. JoJo's moping about, nursing her bruise and feeling aggrieved that Mo doesn't believe her story about the mugger. Rainman wants to bring in the police, but Teen shocks everyone by saying (nervously) the police should be kept out of it if JoJo wants it that way. JoJo cocks her head suspiciously, then goes back to feeling sorry for herself. TriniDad and Yolande are very kind, and even Mo comes around a bit in the end. JoJo doesn't even do that evil smirk behind everybody's back, so we all think it really happened until...she stuffs a small wodge of notes under her mattress and weeps the bitter tears of the damned. Blimey, she's good.

Weirdness abounds chez Minty, where Sham is showering Minty with croissants and organic sausages for breakfast, and even stumps up some rent. Minty learns that today is the first day of the rest of Sham's life. The rest of Sham's life seems to comprise stalking LadyDen in her Grim Reaper coat. LadyDen tries not to look rattled, but that spiral perm is starting to lose its spirallyness. But she does have a very nice green jacket on.

The Dolescums are eating leftovers from the caff, and Keef is wondering what to do about being literarily-challenged. Rosie looks troubled and says he makes a good childminder for Cute Baby Aleesha anyway.

Billy's still miserable, and throws videos all over the place when AGarry comes around to cheer him up. Vidshop owner who was in "Bouncers" finds out from Drippy that Billy's going through a hard time, but Billy doesn't want his sympathy, and he doesn't want that job either. He quits. Vidshop owner asks him nicely to vacate the flat. Billy : "You can't do that..." Vidshop owner : "Flat comes with job. Sorry. Bye." Billy: sad.

Pat needs money to make sure Byrite has a good send off, but Sham says she can dump him in the canal for all she cares. Tony Bennet offers to lend her the money, but she backs away, making signs of the cross and saying; "begone, devil pimp fiend!" She asks LadyDen for O-Den's phone number, but LadyDen's all "a-what the who? Oh...no...it was on speed dial, never remembered it....ummm..." Sham leaps in to save LadyDen with a barely plausible story about how O-Den took his phone with him and he wouldn't spit on Byrite if he was on fire anyway.

Some nonsense about Tony seeing Scalliq using his posh cars to ferry old ladies about. Martina warns Scalliq. WTF is going on there? Is there a director's cut that can explain it all?

LadyDen and Sham continue their fight upstairs, and it's more of the same: "Give me back my pub..." "Shan't" "What'll O-Den's kids do when they find out? Give me back my pub" "Ner ner ner Don't care ner ner! You're a gutless Mitchell"...no catfight this time though. Sham leaves and LadyDen staggers downstairs to look at the patch of concrete where O-Den is. I'm sure his bodily fluids would be seeping into the drain system and causing all kinds of pestilence by now. We wait patiently for a wrinkly hand to burst through the floor and grab her ankle, but...naahh...she just sits by the body and snivels.