MOOM - OUT OF CON - TROLL
Moomin isn't talking to Martin about the whole Chloe drama. Martin goes and explains all to Dot and Jim and they decide to all gang up and stage an intervention. Dot lures Moomin round to her house to help wash her net curtains, the sly minx.

The DoleScums have run out of baby food, dog food and normal-person-food. Rosie goes out on the scrounge, Mickney touts for work round the market and Keef washed the dog and sits on his worthless arse. Dumber is whining and begging for new trainers so the other kids don't make fun of him. Keef says that inner beauty is more important, etc. Dumber looks at the paper and says "Why don't you get this crappy tele sales job. Even you could do that!" Keef looks at a totally different part of the paper and says "Why no, that job would be totally unsuitable!". A light bulb goes off over Dumber's head when he realises that his old man can't read.

Mickney watches Fool's stall while Fool goes to lunch with Drippy. Curly and Lee tease him about his new girlfriend. They go to the restaurant set and worry that they are underdressed. FFS, unless you are in the Ritz no-one cares what you wear in a restaurant these days. They have a nice time (simpering, staring, etc). Drippy does the trick with the amaretto wrapper and Fool is enchanted by her magic skillz. They agree to do it again once Drippy is back from "visiting Sullen".

St MY Gus isn't talking to Juley. He tells Juley that the Hoodyed Claw is a mugger but Juley is all "what - ev - uh". Gus says he has to move out of the flat. Yolande (who is involved for some reason I do not fathom) says that Juley can stay at theirs and have a shower while Gus cools down. Trini-dad lends Juley one of Bad Bro's shirts and says that Juley reminds him of BB. Meanwhile, JoJo still isn't talking to Davetta. JoJo is hanging round the pub when Hoodyed Claw comes in and starts macking on her. she agrees to go with him to the portakabin and Davetta spots them together and runs off to tell her dad. In the portakabin, it looks like hoodyed CLaw is not going to take no for an answer, but then Tony bennet busts in just in time to save what is left of Jojo's "virtue". He is about to beat up the Claw, but Davetta asks him not to. He phones the cops and gets him arrested while JoJo runs home to cry (and still not talk to Davetta). Juley sees the arrest and apologises to Gus. Gus forgives him. Pushover.

The intervention is quite well acted (esp by Dot. Even Martin doesn't make a fool of himself). They seem to manage to convince Moomin that she is doing it for her own selfish reasons and that it will only hurt Chloe and Chloe's adopt-o-gran. They point out that ther eis no way Moomin is going to get the kid and discuss what is going to happen when Chloe is 18 and might/might not look for Moomin. There is a funny bit where Moomin says "Gawd, you abduct a baby once and they never let you forget about it!" Moomin finally breaks out the "but it feels right" excuse. So pitiful. Martin puts on a mean voice and says "If it's so right, then why have you lied about your identity, "PAMELA!!!"". Moomin gasps and runs away.

Demi doesn't believe that Keef can't read. Mo spots Rosie Klebb stealing a single poignant jar of baby food from the Kwik E Mart and tells not ot nick form local shops for local people. Rosie goes home, starts crying and tells Keef that she has hit rock bottom and has no dignity left - she doesn't care about his dignity any more so can he now please fuck off and get a job.

Martin finds Moomin alone, twitching, in a darkened room. She says they all think her maternal instincts have gone crazy. Well, you said it love. They back and forth some more and Martin finally says that she has to tell Adopt-o-Gran the shocking truth about "Pamela" or else he will tell her himslef. Gasp! Again!