YOU IS MAH WIFE NOW...
DS Fat Northerner and DI Chris De Burgh call on Juhneen at dawn to take her down to the station. Juhneen is all "but I've still got loads of Bazza's junk to chuck out before I hotfoot it to Spain. Can't it wait?" The coppers say no, and into the Black Maria she goes.

O-Den introduces LadyDen to the little Wattses: "Hi kids! Here's your new mother!" None of them are impressed, particularly Shazz. Denman disappears off to spar with Backstreet, leaving Vickney alone with LadyDen, while Shazz brats at O-Den in the kitchen. It's all about Shazz, this is, apparently. She seems outraged that her father might have had sex a few times in the last 14 years, and that he might even have got married. What is she? 12? Den tries to tell her to get over herself in the nicest way possible, and argues that at least LadyDen can look after him in his old age, leaving Shazz to concentrate on her own life/kids/whatever. Shazz looks all tragic at the mention of children, relents (but only after another six hours of jaw quivering. Poor ODen), and tells ODen he's on a warning. Meanwhile LadyDen gets Vickney to "show her around", and they bond over the weirdness of Den. Vickney even chucks a couple of non-speaking losers off Loser's Bench and introduces LadyDen to her grandad's memorial. Welcome to Weird Family Central, LadyDen!

OK, back to Juhneen. The police ask Juhneen about her relationship with Simpleton. Juhneen tries to make out that Simpleton was crayzee, but the police say: "We know about the Bealemeister, you lying skanky 'ho". Juhneen pulls her comedy "foiled!" face.

Speaking of hos. Slutty isn't quite sure how to talk to Teen about this fascination with her sloppy seconds. Teen is wearing a super-slutty frilly halterneck thing to entice Denman. Backstreet scowls and skulks around in the back, snapping like a wounded terrapin.

Bad Brutha bumps into Nat on the way to the station. Nat's on her way to Pat's to gloat about Juhneen. Nat says she hope Juhneen goes daaahn, but worries about her getting off scot free again. Pat purses her lips and says: "nah, she's gonna go dahn" in a spooky voice.

Meanwhile Juhneen lies some more about how she got scratched. DI Chris de Burgh threatens her with DNA tests until she admits that she might have got into a little bit of a slapping match with Simpleton, but she didn't kill her. Honest.

Heartbroken Backstreet tries to beat up Denman during their sparring session. Denman says he didn't know that Backstreet wuvved Teen and it looks like he promises to back off for the sake of male bonding - and maybe he's also conscious of being Slutty's sloppy seconds, I don't know. He shuns Teen in the pub. Teen gets cross and tries to convince him that she's only in it for the casual sex. Yeah, right.

Meanwhile, back at the nick, Juhneen is being grilled by Chris de Burgh, who hasn't quite stooped as low as playing one of his records, but you can tell he's close. She denies killing Simpleton, pointing out that she's sneaky manipulative evil, not violent evil.

Nat agrees to spend the night on Simpleton's Sofabed of Doom. Pat remembers that Bad Brutha gave her Bazlet's Rolex of Destiny, and hands it over. They reminisce fondly about Baz again, and it's a good thing I haven't eaten yet.

Juhneen thinks she's got one over on the police. They tell her that Pat denies seeing her leave Simpleton's. Juhneen shouts: "She lies! It's all lies! You haven't got a thing on me, copper!" Chris smiles, settles back in his chair and says: "We didn't have enough evidence to nail you for murdering Baz, but we've got you bang to rights on this one, Missy. You're nicked!" Oh goody. Juhneen in court. Please don't disappoint us, scriptwriters!