LEOPARDSKIN AVENGER
Pat has spent the night at the B&B. In the morning she does bottom-jaw-wobbly sad acting and phones Ian to tell him that Simpleton is dead. He gives her the day off work but she brave-little-soldiers that she wants to stay busy. She takes Bobby round to the Slaters and explains that AGarry has to be a full time daddy now. Sullen makes lots of hacky faces. Her hair is even more helmut-style than ever. You can change your hair as often as you like love, you're still sacked. Also it is Rain man Charlie's birthday and Slutty gives him an ugly beige scarf.

Teen has spent the night knocking boots with Denman. She tells Kellay that he was a top shag. Backstreet finds out and makes whiny bitch type faces. He tells Denman he is looking forward to their next bout of spa-ing. Oh Backstreet, you are only going to make a fool of yourself. Slutty also finds out and is cross that Teen has shagged another one of her exes (it is crypto incest all over agan...). Teen tells her not to worry and that she can look after herself.

Ladyden snits around the market in a top shop mac, making spiteful faces. O-Den agonises about what to do with her - every time he tries to speak to her she says "Where's my money, bitch?" and stomps off. In the end he has a cunning plan and goes to see her with a cheque for £40k. They banter about old times and then O-Den asks her to stay forevah. She agrees and tears up the cheque. They hug and both make smug faces over each other's shoulders.

Juhneen swans around making excellent comedy faces, dumping all of Barry's things and selling all her assets so she can move to Spain. when she finds out that Simpleton is dead she makes a catty comment and the whole caff has to hold back Pat from smacking her. Pat rescues one of jack's retarded pictures to give to Nat and so BadBro gives her the Magic Watch of Baz-Guilt to give to her as well. Meanwhile, fat northern copper and his cross-eyed sidekick go and interview Pat, Ian (Ian has to admit his whore-mongering - ha ha, that was my fave EE storyline ever) and A-Garrry about Simpleton's untimely death. They all mention the row with Juhneen. Also forensic pathologist Amanda redman (probably) has discovered that Simpleton was smacked around a bit before she died. They go and question Juhneen and catch her out in a lie (Juhneen says she saw simpers last at the club). Juhneen changes her story and says she went round the flat but that Pat saw her leave. The cops go to check with Pat - who just happens to be fondling the magic watch etc etc. Pat says "Why no, officer, I never saw Juhneen leave Simpleton's flat" and pulls mad faces...