"SHUT UP BARRY," TIMES INFINITY

The episode starts with the director treating us to a 15 minute pan around Pat’s dreary bedsit. Nice try Stanley No-brick. Simpleton, Babs, Shazz and Vickney all rally round and bring doilies, throw cushions and Athena prints over to cheer the place up. Pat goes round to collect to stuff from mentalist-zombie-Baz. He gives her half an hour to collect her stuff but then goes all crazy, searches her bag and won’t let her take a way a photo of the family. Pat weeps and cringes “No, Barry No!” Whatever happened to hardass Pat? Later on she poignantly fondles Roys signet ring and scarf and cries in the dreary bedsit. However, worse is yet to come – there’s a Placebo fan living next door!

Baz is ordering enough sausage rolls to feed all of Greater London (apart from Pat) at Roy’s funeral. Simpleton doesn’t think she can cope but Fill joins the audience in not remotely caring.

Vickney continues to try and find her long lost step-half-brother-in-law. Dot confirms that Den had an affair with some lady.

More threemenandabaybay inanity: Bad Brutha is a bit paternal for once. These three still wouldn't be interesting if they had found a baby dinosaur. That could talk and sing and dance.

Fill starts taking the Dan Sullivan Threat seriously now he is not consumed with longing for U-Kyert. He tells Billy to tell Drippy what is going on as secrets are bad, innit. Mean baldy man tells Kyert to sling her hook as she has failed. Failed! Kyert rolls her eyes and looks a bit mad. Fills dithers around and then calls Kyert and leaves a message on her phone. He says they should meet up and that there will be “no more secrets” Kyert receives the call and looks smug and then the camera pulls back and reveals that she is in Walford police station with mean baldy man and That Lady Copper. There is a big incident room type set up with a wall chart and photos and post it notes saying “Squeaky: is she dead?” and "Fill: is he a bad man?" etc. Kyert is an undercover cop? I’m shocked!