SHROVE TUESDAY BLOODY TUESDAY
Rickay and Sham wake up together. Sham is all “you’re my wife now!” but Rickay spends the rest of the episode with a visible “ruh roh” expression on his face and says that they have to talk. Later at the Vic, Sham, in a pleather trimmed black boob tube, realises that their night of lurve meant nothing to Rickay and stomps off in a huff.

Dot spends the entire episode mithering about whether or not to retire from the Laundrette. Jim doesn’t want her to because he knows he won’t be able to sit and drink with Trini-Dad all day, but then says he will be supportive. Dot tells Poline and they have a “touching” conversation about their years of service washing. In the end Jim phones the comedy greek laundrette owner to say that Dot is retiring.

MY Gus tries a variety of lame excuses to explain Wellard’s disappearance (including saying that he phoned in sick) but eventually confesses to Sonia. Moomin powers, activate!

Fool has until next week (when Babs returns) to sort out the barmaid situation.

It is pancake day. Backstreet and Ethel 2.0 are excessivley excited by this and Vickney makes fun of Backstreet. In the end Backstreet confesses that his parents died on pancake day in a hideous pancake related accident. Of course they did. It is like that scene in Gremlins where that girl (Phoebe Cates?) explains why she doesn’t like Xmas, only without any evil monsters trying to kill them. Vickney is apologetic and they share a moment. Great. The two most wooden characters are going to go out with each other.

Nat spends all day overcompensating for not putting out by cooking lots of food of Baz. Pat knows what she is up to, however. Nat is wearing a germolene coloured top that totally washes her out.

There is a pancake eating competition at the Vic. Ethel 2.0 accidentally puts salt instead of sugar on some the pancakes because Alzheimers disease is comedy gold. While it is going on Nat has to sit with sham and Rickay – awkward-o-rama. Sham stomps off and Rickay stalks Nat. She tells him that he is still on the last train to dumped-ville and runs away. Barry wins (after lots of scenes of him shoving lard into his face and looking more repulsive than usual) and dedicates the win to his lovely wife, before pouring lager on himself and snorting like a wildebeest. Nat runs outside, looks at Rickay’s window and makes a scrunchy face.