STRAIGHTEN UP AND BYRITE
It's Byrite-o-mania tonight. There's Byrite, lurking at the kitchen door, listening to Sham and Minty swapping saucy anecdotes. There's Byrite, growling: "How dare you swap saucy anecdotes with my wife! Begone with you, baldy!" Minty decides to call in the Bald Alliance to foil Byrite's evil plans for the pub and the snookerall...umm...what were they again? Oh well, anyway, Bent Marcus turns up in the nick of time to get Sham to hand over control of Fill's businesses to Minty while she's away on that there cruise. I mean, what are they? Pensioners? What person under 60 in their right mind wants to go on a cruise for their honeymoon these days? Tsk. Byrite tries to make Bent Marcus an offer he can't refuse in quite a nice little scene for BM. BM reminds Byrite that he's already sold his soul to Fill, and inadvertently drops Minty in it. Byrite goes "Grrr!" and summons Quentin Tarantino, to discuss the effect of manga on the action movie genre, perhaps?

Mickney gets the Dolescums to tidy up a bit for Kareena's first family dinner. There's a non-comedy misunderstanding where Keef thinks Kareena's a Muslim (dressed like that???). Rosie K tells Kareena that their delicious tea comes from the dustbins of the local posh restaurant. Not even Dolescums stoop that low - who thought that was funny?

Meanwhile, they're celebrating Minty's new bossman job in the pub. Enter Byrite, who catches him telling a cackling Sham yet another fruity story. I notice that Sham and Byrite are wearing matching brown suits. Is this a Byrite uniform or something? Byrite goes "grr" again when he finds out what Sham has done, and orders Quentin to release the Ninja Kittens of Destruction. Failing that, get a couple of gay henchpersons to rough Minty up a bit.

LadyDen decides to stake out Vickney's Dadfriend's house and catch him entertaining other teenage studes. She ropes in Denman, who appears to come along for the joy of sitting in a car for hours with a neurotic woman. They eat sandwiches and bond. LadyDen reckons that Shazza's got a new bloke, and Denman says he doesn't care, but then wrinkles his nose so that we all know that he's crying inside. Denman remembers his horrible childhood. LadyDen reveals that she's from Braintree, and that ODen made her feel beautiful. Denman points out that ODen was into teenagers too, but he'd still rip out Dadfriend's throat for even looking at Vickney...blah...blahblahblah... oooh look there's a young laydee swishing her high street skirt and embracing Dadfriend. Bingo! thinks LadyDen....

Byrite takes Sham out to dinner, and tells her that he doesn't want any of that feminism and independence nonsense; he wants to interfere in every part of her life. Sham simpers. Meanwhile, Minty lies, senseless on the garage floor, waiting to be found by AGarry. Wail, lady viewers of a certain age! Wail!