HE HIT ME AND IT FELT LIKE A KISS
Poline is unconscious and attached to machines that go "ping". Mmartin clutches her hand freudianly. Eventually she wakes up (it turns out that she has brain bruising - I'm sure that's not a proper medical term). Her first words to Martin are "How could you be so stupid!" Ha ha, go Poline! Mmartin tries to deny it all but Poline can read his mind or something. In the end he says it was all a crazy mistake and he lurves Moomin etc etc. Poline says Moomin deserves better but doesn't go as far as to grass him up. she mentions that someone was there when she fell over. Mmartin thinks it might have been crazy-ass homicidal killah Glenn and goes to sort it out.

Teen has slept on the sofa and is worried about Disappearing Denman. My Little Shazza and LadyDen are also worried. Shazza lurks around and sits on Loser's Bench spying on Teen. Wierdo. She finds out from Dot that Denman needed to sort out his pretty head and stops been worried. Teen cries. Shazza tries to comfort her and Teen is suspicious.

The Millers are annoying. Minty feels guilty for breaking the Walford Code of Silence. Dot pops up every now and again with biblical homilies that are supposed to make people start liking the Millers. Jesus Himself could appear and tell me to like them and I still wouldn't, so sorry Dot.

It is Adull's birthday. He opens his pressies and goes off to work, leaving Martina and DJ Ross alone in the Portakabin of Sexual Non-tension. Martina pulls mad faces like the rough aerobics bird in the Eric Prydze video and says she is going to grass up Ross to Adull. She gets Adull on his own but he starts prattling on about how happy he is so Martina can't bring herself to shatter his pathetic dreams (btw, they have a "I have something important to tell you", "No, me first" scene. Grrrr.)

Fool tries to phone Slutty. Eventually Slutty phones Backstreet and says she is coming back. Hurrah.

MMartin tracks Glenn down to her shabby bedsit and accuses her of trying to moider Poline. Glenn says "I would never do anything to hurt you, mighty one!" Mmartin tells her to leave him alone etc etc and then spots a photo of himself as a teen on her sideboard. He goes on a rampage and finds loads more photos and probably undies and personal garments too. Finally he notices that she is wearing Mark's chunky bad taste signet ring on a chain round her neck. He goes apeshit and she admits that she might have accidentally tried to moider Poline as Poline didn't understand their eternal mentalist love. Mmartin throws her head first at an ikea chest of drawers, causing a tiny cut to appear on her brow. Glenn says she understands that Mmartin has to slap her round every now and again, out of LOVE!!! Mmartin grabs the chain and throttles her a bit and then pulls the ring off and tells her to, can you guess? yes, to leave him alone. He leaves her in a crumply heap on the floor, pulls a manly face and stomps off. I'm sure that's an end to the matter. Oh yes.