THE CASE OF THE MISSING MOOMINTROLL
Shazza, Denman and LadyDen are all full of recriminations etc over Vickneygate. LadyDen keeps apologising while Shazza waves her 15 feet of shiny nylon hair around and acts all snitty. Shazza tells Denman that she just wanted a proper fam-er-lee and Denman growls that he gave up hot crypto lovin' to make the family work so don't start on me, bitch. He goes out to see Teen at the stall and notes that she is feeling poorly. He packs her off to sit down and watches the stall for her, later selling sexy underwear to a bunch of grannies.

Mickney and Juley want to increase their tacko jewellery sales and decide to lend jewellery to Walfords most stylish denizens for free publicity. After hours of listening to Juley's increasingly bizarre line readings (plus him calling Backstreet "Spenky") we end up seeing Ethel 2.0 and Teen swanning around with 15 tons of diamante pinned to various parts of their anatomy.

Backstreet wakes up hungover Fool at 2 pm and and tells him to drag his sorry arse out of bed. Fool tries to say that he has the flu but Backstreet says (inaccurately) that him and Ethel 2.0 aren't stupid and they know he was drunk and acting all crazy. Teen goes to the pub (because when you have flu you always seek out the smokiest environment..) and is perturbed that Fool isn't around. She finds out from Backstreet that Fool is acting weird and surmises that it is about Slutty/Byrite. She goes up to talk to Fool and Fool starts going on about how Slutty is so, um, slutty. Teen squeals and slaps him with her giant man hand. Oh, that's going to leave a mark. She tells him that Slutty is allowed to talk to blokes and that she is mad about Fool etc etc blah blah. (Actually this was a nice scene for Teen). Fool plays with his wedding ring in a Tolkien stylee and then says he is going to sort it out. Teen goes back to see Denman - he nearly proposes for some reason - and then they go to bed together (Denman is wearing pyjama bottoms and a nasty tank top like Frank Spencer - not sexy). Denman goes into the hall and runs into semi-nekkid Colin Faux-rell. Jealous-o-rama!

Dot has a cool umbrella with a duck head for the handle. Maybe the duck head will come to life and start giving her advice. That would rock.

Not a real duck head btw. That would be gross.

Byrite and Sham run around gibbering about their honeymoon. Just fuck off already. Somehow Byrite has worked out that Bad Brutha owes him lots of money after Sham-drugs-gate. eh? Run that by me again? Anyway, Bad Brutha has to get a job at Angies Den so he can sell drugs and pay back his mystery made-up debt to Byrite.

Martin is anxious because he can't reach Moomin and decides that Glenn has put her head in a hatbox like Gwynneth in Se7en or something. He gets Poline to watch the stall (Poline is still not trusting Betty to walk on her own, btw - Also how come Poline is only ever shot from the chest up. Have her legs been replaced by robot tentacles or something?) and runs across town to stalk, oops I mean check up on moomin. He can't find her at her friend's house (what are the chances that we ever see this so-called friend again???) and can't get in touch with her at the nurse thing place. He returns to Walford a broken man but then teak coloured Moomin shows up and shouts at him for being a loony stalker. They must have had very good sunlamps at this nurse placement. I'm just saying. Martin says he only did it because he wuvs her so much and moomin forgives him. She mentions that Glenn's agency has got her a job oop north (a catering agency? got her a job in a different city? what.ev.er.). Martin is pleased and they start doing it. They are interrupted mercifully when Poline gets home but then Glenn shows up too. She says her flat is flooded and she has nowhere else to go. Ruh and indeed roh.