SOME C-ANDY TALKING
Friday evenings: West Wing or Easties? Well, one's a sharply-written drama based on real life played out under exceptional circumstances; and one was quite good once, but then it disappeared up its own arse and got weird, to be honest. And Easties is repeated on Sundays.

So, there I was, with a pile of ironing, missing some major Seth/Summer action on The OC, and what did they serve up? Fool and Martin getting drunk and slobbery, Sham confronting Byrite about being an Evil Drugs Baron, and oh yeah, Vickney quit. So it wasn't all bad.

Leni Riefenstahl is still hanging on in there with Fool, though I'm sure any sane woman would have given up and gone a few yards down the road to pick up a proper Shoreditch twat by now. Their conversation goes a bit like this:

Fool: Fancy a dance, pretty lady?
Leni: Ooh I like 'em quick on their feet.Fancy a shag?
Fool: So anyway, I'm an enigma wrapped up inside a mystery, you know.
Leni: Shall we call a cab? Or do you live near here?
Fool: My foolishness is a mere mask that hides my existential pain. Can I try on your glasses?
Leni: Yes, I'm Up for It. Do I have to tattoo it on my forehead or something?
Fool: But what about the morning after?
Leni: How about now? In the ladies? They've got condoms in there haven't they?

Anyway, after half an hour of this Fool declines and wanders home to mope over Slutty's leopard print knickers or whatever. Hope Leni realises she had a lucky escape. They were probably inches away from a reprise of the Tony Booth/Jiffi episode or something.

Speaking of dodgy deals in toilets, Byrite is not pleased that Sham has discovered his Evil Drug Dealing ways. They shout. Sham wails some nonsense about knowing he was dodgy, but she thought he was different to her brothers. Well, slightly better-dressed perhaps...and with hair. Byrite throws his wedding ring down and flounces off to whine at Quentin, who mocks him for being done over by a blonde. Sham calls in on Minty waay after visiting hours. Minty offers his services as a getter-away-of short-spudheaded-folk to places of greater safety and/or Rio. Sham declines and says she's going to change Byrite and make him see that there is a better way to gain respect. Maybe Byrite has a psycho older brother who will suddenly bequeath him a snookerall/cafe empire. Or maybe he'll take up lap-dancing. I went to save my geraniums from an over-zealous weeder, so I didn't see if Byrite did the over-the-shoulder duplicitous look.

MMartin tries to help Backstreet in the pub while Fool takes a night off. Byrite drops in to mock, and MMartin breaks a pump or something. Backstreet moans about women in general, and says maybe he should find a Moomin. I don't know if the subtext is: find self a nice, intelligent girl with a bit of a personality with whom one can have a good time; or ditch the bimbos and go for the pudgy ones 'cos they're less likely to bomb off to Ibeefa and break your heart. Moving on...MMartin calls Sonia drunkenly, then sobers up when he hears Glenn Closer's voice in the background. Ruh roh! Is this the first case of bisexual couple stalking? I somehow doubt it...

Vickney quits. Well, she comes home long enough to pack a small suitcase with her Barbie Fashion Designer Kit and assorted tubes of hair dye, shout at everyone about how ODen's going to be really cross about her leaving home, and leave. Not even in a Taxi of Doom. Poor Vickney!