THROUGH A GLASS DAFTLY

Dot lies in bed looking tragic while workmen dig up the pavement outside (I see the EE writers have found their “My first book of obvious symbolism” again.) Moomin, Jim and Poline all try and cheer her up to no avail. Babs collects money for her. The vicar comes round with some flowers and tries too. Dot says that when she looks in the mirror she sees an empty shell and that everything is cold and meaningless. I miss a few episodes and suddenly Dot thinks she’s in an Ingmar Bergman film? They pray but you can tell that Dot feels nothing. Nothing! In the end she runs off and has yet another existential crisis in front of the mirror.

Backstreet is still trapped in “Only fools and horses” subplot hell. He tries to sell dodgy tinned food with Vickney. Vickney and Shazza argue about what they would do if rat face Den Jr where to write back to them from the slammer. Shaz doesn’t want to get involved with someone who has done GBH (cough Fill and Grant cough). Later on, Vickney gets a letter from Den Jr asking if he can come and live with them. She doesn’t tell Shazza because keeping things secret always works out really well in soap operas.

Bad Brother is worried that his kid is not being adequately socialised and so joins a mother and baby group, even though he is a bloke! Ha ha ha, imagine the wacky hijinks that will ensue!

Let us consider Juhneen’s outfit – she is wearing a clingy black Avengers style jumpsuit with lace shoulder panels, a belt made of 5 silver chains and has hair all piled up at the front, rockabilly stylee. Awesome. She spends the whole episode haranguing Baz into buying a new sofa (why does she always use her evil powers in the service of interior design? – see also: Billy).

Sham puts on her Business Barbie outfit to start a new job with Ian. Fill tells her he can’t do it. Sham: oh yes I can. The nanny stands up for fill but he still doesn’t shag her. Ian is smug and annoying and flaunts Sham in front of Simpleton and Fill. Sham is annoyed and tells Ian that she doesn’t want to be a pawn. Ian says sorry and gets her cold-calling people asking if they want any scotch eggs. Fill and Simpleton moan about Ian and decide to form a new axis of evil. They meet Ian and Sham in the pub and Simpleton does her patented smug smirk while Fill announces that he is going to pay for her to hire a divorce lawyer.