HOUSE OF ‘TARDS

This episode is all about gambling. Oh good. First of all, Jim tries to get Dot’s charity god bingo cancelled (so he can play poker) by saying that the bingo caller has been arrested or something. When Dot starts moaning about all the poor orphans who will suffer, Fool’s halo lights up and he says “We shall play bingo tonight!” Dot sings hosannas to the Lord and everyone rallies round, in the manner of an Amish barn raising, to organize bingo. Simpleton sees that Pat is moping in her room and drags her out to bingo. I miss eeevil shrew Simpleton. Babs has an “elderly blond hag summit” with Poline to try and find a job for Pat and ends up offering Pat a job as her cleaner. Pat tells her to sod off. There are more obstacles to bingo (including licensing laws, a church lady with a smacked arse face etc etc) but Fool saves the day by dragging up. I don’t understand either. They raise money and everyone is happy.

Fill talks to (ugh) Minty about why he hates Ian so much. Is it just me or does Fill have more chemistry with the Mintster than he has with any of the laydees he has been partnered with lately? Bad Bro shows up to the poker game with the baybee but then leaves because people are swearing and smoking too much (at a poker game? Who would have thought it?). Ian is scared because he is stuck with Fill, Minty (ugh) and three other blokes straight from the “Ugly” section of Central Casting. There's a bit of half arsed poker playing and then Ian wins £300 off Fill and sensibly quits the game. All the ugly blokes fuck off and Fill is cross with Ian for harshing on his vibe. Ian goes to the pub and gives half his winnings to Dot’s orphan thing. Fill mutters darkly about Ian while Minty watches, sad that his new boyfriend is such a monomaniac psycho.

Suddenly at the end they cut the House of Baz where everything is lit with blue light for some reason. Baz-ra eats some cold baked beans from the tin, says “grrr!” and then throws the tin at the wall. Ooo! Scary!