IT'S HAMMER TIME!

I miss the beginning but basically it seems that Vickney and Shazza are still going on about Den Jr (god, we know he's joining the cast so just get on with it) and Dot is still non-comedy subplotting about the church fundraising thing. Fool reassures Backstreet that it is OK to be a virgin when you are 18 - they really are going to get him a hooker for his birthday. More threemenandabaybay nonsense. I can't really remember if anything else happens.

Most of the episode is devoted to Pat and Baz. Baz pretends to be nice to Pat long enough to get Pat out of the house and then instantly calls a locksmith. However he can't change the locks before Pat gets home and sends him packing. Pat says "I'm staying bitch so get used to it, yo." Baz pleads for her to move out but Pat says "no, I have to look after you for Roy's sake. Do you want some nice casserole for tea?" Baz stomps off and then creates a mentalist wall chart on the hall wall with Pat at the top as the Whore of Babylon and all her relations underneath with various disparaging things written next to their names. He says that Pat sucked Roy dry but Pat says "Um, not. You sucked him dry by being stupid and annoying all the time and losing all his money and Nat said she never loved you anyway. What do you think of that, fuckface?" Baz says "Noooooooo!" He smashes up the living room with a hammer while Pat grabs her coat and runs away. Baz then realises that he has broken a picture of Roy during his frenzy and starts to cry like a little girl. Excellent!