NO, NOT DOT!

They're bastards, those EE scriptwriters. First they stick Dot in the plot cupboard for months, then they do...this!

Dot is all nervous about her reading (OK, she's a woman of delicate sensibilities, but it's only a bit of Luke ferchrissakes). Then Jim forgets to limp, Babs lets spill about Jim playing in The Big Poker Game, Dot lets rip at Jim and takes all his money. But the letting-rip incident calms her down, and she wows the congregation with her rendition of the Crucifixion - not the Billy Connolly version, obviously...that would be silly.

Various cast members bump into a mystery person doing door-to-door collections for a dodgy charity. All we see is that this person has long-ish hair and a yellow collecting tin.

Juhneen bumps into Mystery Collector first, on her way to Baz-domination. BazCars sells a dodgy hatchback within seconds of opening, and Baz is happy. Juhneen asks to be promoted to manager of BazCars. Baz looks doubtful and goes to the pub, where he meets Simpleton (who doesn't mind smoke and alcohol fumes affecting little Simpers, obviously), who does her "Juhneen is eeeeevil" speech (again). Nat tells Simpers off for being horrible.

Meanwhile Juhneen steals Baz's keys and gets Up To No Good in Cave Evans. She is spotted by Sullen Slater, on her way back to the plot cupboard after a fag break, we presume.

Backstreet mourns his lost Easter Egg empire, but Fool arranges for Ian to pretend to buy the eggs for some dodgy catering venture. Backstreet gets all cocky and decides to aim higher. Fool is sad.

Babs has more cleaning for Pat - the coal hole needs licking out or something. Simpleton pretends to faint, and convinces Pat that she's not offering her a job out of charity, and it would get her out of Babs' clutches. Pat accepts, and lets Babs down as gently and evilly as possible.

Back in the pub, Dot is celebrating her triumph like a true old ham. She returns to the house to collect Jim's hidden money. The door rings. It's Mystery Collector. He asks for some change and a glass of water, and Dot invites him in. Cut back to the pub, where Jim gets anxious about Dot. He returns to the house where he finds the living room ransacked and Dot unconscious on the floor. She'd better not be dead, you EE writer bastards!