PAT BITES BACK

Well I missed the first five minutes because we were having dinner. But when I tuned in, Dot was still having trouble talking to God. She turns to the power of Pop Music and turns up her tiny tiny radio very loud while reading Genesis (the book, not the band). But no, even Tom Jones cannot guide her towards the light so she cleans frantically until Moomin activates her special Moomin powers and gets her to speak to the vicar again.

All the Slaters burst out of the plot cupboard and storm the Vic for a sangria-fuelled salsatastic celebration of Slutty's return. Fool Moon doesn't think it's a good idea. Neither does Slutty, but she soon gets into the flow, and there is preliminary flirting between Slutty and Fool by the fuse box. OK, Fool is quite convincing and moony. Oh boy.

Simpleton discovers that Ian got the contract instead. She is sad.

Pat does some demon-childsitting for Ian and discovers that he deliberately undercut Simpleton's quote. Oh no! Quel bastard! (I mean, were these people born yesterday? What did you expect?). Ian does the usual EE male thing and blames Pat for everything that has ever gone wrong in his life - like, take some responsibility for being a thoughtless, money-grubbing wanker, for god's sake. Stand tall! Be proud. Anyway, Pat throws his skinny frame up against a wall and squishes him into submission. She then declares her allegiance to Simpleton and departs, earrings swinging majestically in the breeze.