Um, previously on Eastenders, Sullen and AGary went off on holiday, Nat agonised about her "Dumb or dumber" love dilemma and decided to stay with Fat Baz and Slutty dumped Dr Perv, who then had a really loud, embarrassing, sobby fit right in the street.

It is Fill's birthday and no-one shows up at the Vic apart from Billy and Shazza. ha ha, that's what you get for being a moiderer. Fill keeps txting Undercover Kate but she doesn't show up. Nanny gets drunk and tells Fill that she fancies him. Fill: "you're drunk." It is also Bad Brutha's birthday but everyone has forgotten. Bad Brutha makes everyone play a slapping game which reveals their Inner Turmoil. Ian (who has been standing round making bitter comments all evening) plays with Fill, who threatens to smack ihim in the face really hard. Dr Perv and Slutty play and Dr Perv slaps Slutty really hard. God, what a bitch. That evil copper from a while back shows up and blackmails Fool for 4000 pounds. Ethel 2.0 eats some of Fill's cake and Backstreet tries to cover it up by smooshing the leftovers together with his hands. Brilliant. Undercover Kate shows up at the last minute and tells Fill that she wants to take it slow. Fill is all happy etc.

Natalie stays in with Fat Baz, Pat and Roy. Rickay lurks around outside until Nat sends him packing. Rickay is sad and Sham tries to cheer him up. Rickay decides that he will sit on Loser's Bench until Nat decides to love him. Natalie then has a horrendous Pinter/Sartre-esque evening with the family in their dreary house watching snooker and Barry eating deep fried lard. she has a panic attack and Barry tries to fornicate with her on the hob. ewww. Nat runs out and starts snogging Rickay right in the middle of the Square but Pat spots them. Ruh roh!