ROOM AT THE FLOP
Missed the first ten minutes because I had to work late. When I switched on Tony Bennett is trying to pretend that he's not talking dirty with ETina (love it!) while Davetta plays with her posh new cameraphone - a bribe for agreeing to go to St Ange's College for Well Bred Young Ladies. Well, I suppose that now the Hooded Claw is off the streets, they don't have to worry about mobile crime any more. But what's this? JoJo decides to start Davetta down the Road to Perdition (or Redbridge, whichever is nearer), and gives her a lesson in nicking stuff off market stalls - especially Teen's. Davetta takes JoJo's spoils back to Teen and pays for them because stealing's bad, mmkay? Davetta, do you know what your dad does for a living?

Dot and Jim say they're rattling around in their huge house, and decide to move into a smaller flat. Oh no, don't tell me they're building up for June Brown's retirement. Moomin: cross that she will lose her bolt-hole from Poline.

Far too much time seems to be taken up with the Dolescums' attempts to buy back Dumber's affections by letting him go bowling with the Bealemeister. Rosie gets some extra for polishing the brass bits of the Vic (doesn't she normally do them then? Slattern!). Keef sells a horrid vase thing to Lee, who is on stall-minding duty for Fool. Between them, they accumulate £35, and are about to hand it over when Dumber points out that the phone bill hasn't been paid because Keef can't read the words: "FINAL NOTICE", and is colour-blind, presumably. I haven't been bowling in a while, but isn't £35 a bit much for a couple of hours down at the Megabowl? And what are they doing with Sky Plus if they're so poor they can't pay the phone bill? What's wrong with Top Up TV? Dumber hands back the money, and hates Keef even more for humiliating him in front of Ian Beale. Later, Keef sells the TV to Ian for 50p and uses the proceeds to pay off the phone bill (and, presumably, the satellite bill). Dumber does a great incandescent-with-rage teenager, "We can't not have a TV! If we don't have a TV everyone will think we're stupid!". Keef - too depressed to say: "No son, everyone will think we are middle-class, and prefer to spend our evenings engaging in witty intellectual discourse than slumped in front of the Idiot Box. Though I will miss the wildlife programmes..."

Back into the 1950s kitschen-sink psychodrama that is TB and ETina. It's just like Room at the Top only without Albert Finney and in colour. Having finally shaken off Davetta, TB tells Billy to check out ETina's fusebox, then decides to have a look himself. Billy turns up in mid-canoodle, and ETina has to make up some flimsy excuse about having a shower to get rid of him while TB cowers behind a door. Later, Billy reports that ETina obviously had a MAN in her flat, which is a breach of her letting contract (maybe TB has a special droit de seigneur clause written in). Tony looks worried