ETINA PHONE TONY
I kept falling asleep during this so it is going to be a bit rubbish. Reading the BBC recap however, I am not surprised that I kept lapsing into a total coma of boredom!

AGarry is moving out of the Slater TARDIS into his love nest with Minty. Mo agrees to help for the price of 6 cans of strong lager. Minty and Mo make jokes about Garry’s porn stash and Minty (or Garry? So sleepy…) says “You won’t be needing that once we live together as we’ll have the real thing all the time!” Alert! Alert! Gaydar overloading! Mo continues her futile flirtation with Minty and sits next to him on the sofa and rubs herself against his manly thigh, or something.

It is Keef’s first day on the stall. Dumber hands him a clock and takes a photo to commemorate the fact that Keef is up before 8 am for the first time ever. Heh. On the stall, Keef is predictably rubbish and keeps spending all the petty cash on cups of tea and bacon sarnies. Only bread and water for Keef! Mickney is cross but Keef is oblivious. Demi decides she doesn’t want to go to school any more. Under questioning from Rosie Klebb, it turns out that she thinks Keef is too thick to look after Aleesha when she is away. She might have a point.

Yolande and TriniDad get a call from the Social, asking if they are ready to resume their foster-antics. Yolande wants to but TriniDad is still too sad about Bad Brutha. Get over it, TD – in soap time that happened in a previous geological epoch! BB eventually says that he is willing to give it a go again, but Yolande says she is happy to wait until he is 100% ready.

Tony Bennett is a Tool: Part One.
It is Davetta’s first day at school. Davetta is worried about not making any friends and Tony says “Friends are bad! They prevent you from studying.” Way to be encouraging. Tony says he will take her to school, but then changes his mind and gets Curly to drive her over instead. Later on he is wrapped up in his ETina drama-rama and is neglectful again. Davetta is sad. He says they can eat together but then he sees that she has written an essay about her dead (OR ARE THEY???) mum and sister for homework and freaks out and leaves her to eat alone. Maybe JoJo will grass him up to Social Services and then Yolande can foster-parent Davetta!

Tony Bennett is a Tool: Part Two
ETina and Tony Bennett don’t talk to each other for a bit after ETina’s non-flirtation with Blokey Bloke the other day. When they do talk, Tony moans about ETina being a slaggg and ETina says she didn’t do anything wrong. Pat’s magic earrings detect the waves of dischord and she goes over to ETina for a chat and tells her not to be too clingy or she will drive Tony away. Tony spots Pat and ETina talking and tells her off for gossiping and daring to have friends. Gosh Tony Bennett, why don’t you just lock ETina in a tall tower and hide the key in a secret dungeon or something. ETina moans about being kept apart from Tony Bennett’s life etc etc and he goes mental and tells her to get out of Walford for good. Ooo! Who died and made you king? (Editor: Byrite)