JOJO TO THE RESCUE
Dear journos, I know that plagiarism is a way of life for some people who couldn't spell "copyright" unless they paid some hapless junior academic a fiver to do it for them. However, even if you did find it on the Internet, it is still illegal to nick our material without acknowledging your source. So kindly fuck off and write your own gags instead of leeching off other peoples' talent.

My excuse for missing out Tuesday's entry is that Mark was pouring beer and Bombay mix down my throat in a dingy Fleet St hostelry.

Moving swiftly on, Davetta prepares a special breakfast for TB so that they can talk, and JoJo worries about her. Especially when TB ignores breakfast and walks straight over to ETina's new home and whinges to ETina.

ETina should have special Aretha Franklin theme music for all her scenes to underline Goddess Pat's teaching that there is more to self-worth than lying on your back wearing diamond earrings. She gets a job in a dress shop, and Pat wears a special migraine-inducing psychedelic tent to celebrate. I'm not sure if what happens next is a hallucination or not, but I think JoJo tells Davetta to pretend to run away. Then Davetta TB have another scene where he demonstrates again that he is the Worst Dad in the World. Ever. All Davetta wants to talk about are her feelings about the Grand Immolation, but TB says that's what pychiatrists are for and strops off to ETina's to whinge at her. ETina somehow gets talked into jacking in the dress shop job (duh! free clothes!) and instead takes a job at TB's club, probably as a "hostess" or something. Meanwhile Davetta cries into JoJo's shoulder.

There's something about TriniDad and Yolande selling vegetables and MMartin getting cross about not being the only veg man in East London any more. Moomin's powers are back in full working order, and she connects this somehow with the Plot That Won't Die and MMartin's feelings of inadequacy in the face of his mother's disapproval. She explains free market economics to MMartin. Yolande gives JoJo an extra few quid for stacking potatoes, and JoJo offers to buy Davetta some chips. She calls Davetta "swotty tart", which only makes me (and Davetta by the look of things) love her more.

Drippy's back and disappointed that Fool is off celebrating Backstreet's birthday, which seems to be taking an awful long time to happen. Mind you, I do know someone whose 21st birthday celebrations went on for a week, so maybe that's how the Young People do it these days. Big Mo is still interrupting Minty and AGarry's lovenesting. AGarry moans that he expected to be waking up next to a gorgeous bird with lovely legs, wearing his shirt. Instead he has Minty in a grey dressing gown, or at least he would have if Mo didn't keep barging in and ogling his assets. Minty and AGarry get Rainman to have a word, so Mo transfers her weird nurturing frenzy to him instead. Rainman escapes to AGarry to watch his precious gameshows. Minty/AGarry: cross.