Question: If Moomin is broke, where did she get that rather nice little laptop from, eh? eh?

So anyway. Moomin gets a mysterious email from a "Ms Smith", asking why the coppers want to get hold of Squeaky. The mystery emailer turns out to be Melanie, who is still "on the run" but able to take time out from her busy schedule playing to tell Moomin that she "borrowed" Squeaky ID because she's still on the lam. Lots of emailing and crying from Crusader Moomin (I still like Sonia) and I must say the Portuguese internet cabling must be very good. We discover that Squeaky would rather tear Fill's face off than let him take Mini Fill, and that Mel hasn't seen her in days. Sonia asks: "Did Fill kill her then". Mel replies: "Don't email me again, you mad Moomin woman."

Juhneen moves into Rickay's and Sham is cross. Simpleton goes into full-on Fishwife mode and in scenes reminiscent of Salem in the 1600s, gets her banned from all the shops and tells Roy to sack her from her teamaking job. Fat Pat tries to stand up for Juhneen but her purple crystal earrings are too heavy. Ian confesses that he shagged Juhneen and that he thinks Fishwife wrote the letters (WRONG!!). Ian and Billy make a feeble stand for Juhneen, but she doesn't care, she's a woman on the edge blah blah.

Martin has another row with Hard Faced Girl and then they make up. But Gay Pike won't let them make out in Martin's bedroom like proper teenagers.

Umm... stuff about the pub manager and will they/won't the Mitchells move out of the pub? I started thinking about Celeb Big Brother and my friend called.

Acting on Fill's orders, Babs cancels her night of lurve with Pa Slater.