Mark and I have inconveniently developed lives recently, so have had little time to write the EE updates. Sorryo. So, because I'm lounging about trying to come up with some ideas for a situationist prank site that I'm doing for a friend...

In tonight's EE, things have come to a head with the poison pen letters. Slutty has been sacked from the stall by Drippy (can she do that?). Sonia has been badgering the police about Squeaky. And Sham wants to "make something of herself" and run the Vic (what, she wants to make her hair into a 6ft high wig and shag paedos...weird).

So, the inevitable Children In Need push. Mo and Derek decide to have a raffle ticket-selling competition. What larks, eh?

Jaymee is worried that Sonia's Moomin powers will not be enough to protect her from the Wrath of Fill. He finds a postcard from Squeaky that says something like: "Having a lovely time. Wish Fill wasn't here. Louise is very happy. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggh! Fill! Put that knife down! No NO NOOOO!....thud". Anyway, he threatens Fill with the card and Fill goes off to tell the usual police inspector (her again) that Sonia's a baby-stealing madwoman, and not to be trusted. Sonia and Jaymee are later given the bum's rush when they show the postcard to the police.

With his dad's lovely old dance-hall stylee version of Stir It Up (not by the Wailers from the sound of it) playing in the background, Dr Perv decides to reconvene the lynch mob to discuss when and where they are going to burn Juhneen for being a witch, and who will do the sausage rolls etc.

The meeting convenes and TriniDad confesses that he wrote the poison pen letter to Zoe (remember that? I don't) for an entirely spurious reason. By this time Simpleton has the Shining Light of Truth in her eye, and advocates hanging, drawing and quartering Juhneen as well. Juhneen walks in on Simpleton's tirade and everybody looks uncomfortable as she slags off Simpleton, the world and its dog and tells them that if she wanted to torture them she wouldn't bother remaining anonymous.

Later on in the pub, Ricky decides that he's had a lovely day being stressed out at the Arches, and that he won't take the pub manager's job after all (yeah, I said the same thing).

As TriniDad and Dr Perv make a touching reconciliation in the pub:

TriniDad: "Boy, I is a lonely old man..."
Dr Perv: "And a stupid one."
TriniDad: "Son, I love you. Buy me a drink


The police tell Fill that they think they've found Squeaky. Fill looks shifty...duh duh DAAAAH...