LEADEANO OF THE PACK

This a bit of a crappy crib as I am super busy at work and doing lots of overtime at the moment.

Deano is wandering round acting all drunken and angry (well, I say “acting”….) and Chelski is sniffing round and being vaguely protective, even though she totally doesn’t fancy him, oh no. At one point Deano gets into a funny fight with Jojo where she smacks him and they throw each others’ cheap market crap on the floor. Chelski horns in and waggles her finger at JoJo all “oh no you didn’t, girlfriend” like a guest on Jerry Springer. In the end Chelski drags Deano away and he drives around randomly with her in a car off the lot and overacts – it turns out that when he went round to see Atkins she was – gasp – shagging some bloke and now he all traumatised etc. Well Deano, if you thought that your mother was actually a virgin then you’re even stupider than we all thought.

Meanwhile, Dadley bins off a posh hotel date with Jojo because Nurse Tanyah wants him to pick up Abi from school. Jojo makes up for it by dragging him into the bogs of the Vic for some canoodling. Hmm, the smell of urinal tablets is so arousing. Not. Dadley gets so carried away that he forgets to pick his kid up and she walks home, just in time for drunken annoying Deano to come tearing round the corner in his charabanc of doom!! Oh no no no no, look out, look out, look out, crash! Etc. He runs over Abi and the car must be oddly designed with all the padding on the outside and the hard metal on the inside, as Abi just has a broken wrist and Deano ends up in a coma with a punctured lung and broken ribs. Okayyyy.

Nurse Tanyah is so furious that she says Dadley has to sleep on the sofa, but then he gets back in her good books by being a bit caring or something. I don’t know. He also dumps Jojo and JoJo she is sad.

In other news

Sophie Thompson wants to plan a surprise birthday party for Vic, but realises that Fill hasn’t got any friends. Ha ha. While she is snooping around she finds his box of ex-bitches with all photos of Squeaky and Kaffee et al. for some inexplicable reason this makes her feel inadequate (um have you looked at Fill lately love) so she gets herself all gussied up and Jojo tells her she looks like a cheap whore (from JoJo = compliment). Fill says he luvs her just the way she is – ie timorous and wet. Ben ruins the surprise party anyway but he’s going to get thrown off a bridge soon so he may as well enjoy himself while he can.

JoJo is mean to Bradley and his new bird.

Naomi, Agarry and Minty realise that they are finally going to be evicted and decide to buy a place together.

Someone phones Atkins so she can visit Deano in orspital but he doesn’t die, dammit. He asks her to stick around anyway. Pat and Atkins have a blonde hardfaced scrubber stand off and there are more hints re Parklife’s dark secret. Also Carly squawks “nobody wants you here!” about three hundred times.

GADawn says she will have an abortion after all if she isn’t allowed to see Smarmy anymore. God, we have nine months of this bullshit…

And finally Martin suddenly pops up, smashes Fill’s car and shouts “Where’s Sonyah!!???”

(also i have finally got round to updating my Capital Ring blog - link to the right!!)