BLOG ME BABY ONE MORE TIME
I’ve left this one so long that I can only remember the highlights (such as they are). Sorry about this…normal service…etc etc

Some spike-topped boy band reject with twinkly eyes wanders around the square ‘meeting everybody’. Apparently he’s Pat’s long-lost nephew who has hitchhiked up from Lewisham or Acton or somewhere to visit his auntie for the first time ever in his life. Two words, moron: public transport. His name is Deano or Beano or something equally ridiculous. By the end of the week Beano has taken over Fool’s Stall of Tat from Lee, and is conducting a “Free the Wellard” campaign with T-shirts funded by GADawn’s funny money.

GADawn has invited Jim Carver to sleep on the sofa after he got thrown out of his dodgy B&B. The rest of the family treat him like an extra dad, only marginally less useless than Keef. Keef: sad.

Given her romantic history over the past few years, it’s a good thing that Shazza has lots of black in her wardrobe. Anyway, she doesn’t bother with make-up. Or speaking. Or moving. Poline and Dot hover around anxiously. Fill pats her on the back and beetles around looking like a guilty potato. There is a tepidly contested debate in our house about whether or not Fill has lost weight. He’s certainly looking more Maris Piper than King Edward these days.

Dot organises a full-on requiem mass for Denman because she loved that boy. Poline says he can make do with a chorus of “Abide with Me” and a bunch of stolen daffs from MacArfur Park like everybody else.

Tony Bennet is in hospital. Davettta: sad and dumped once more by Juley. There’s some stuff with Fill hating him for doing something or other. TB finds out that Davetta is dumped and tries to strangle him for breaking his little girl’s heart (oh make up your mind…). Juley: confused and choking. MYGus tells him it was all Fill’s idea. Oh. Dear.