YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY YOU LOVE ME
JoJo returns home to find cardboard boxes covering the windows and her mother cowering in the kitchen. Apparently JoJo Ma's trolley is now in another universe, and she's being terrorised by the local yoof and her nasty neighbour wants her out. There's lots of screaming, and both JoJo and Ma act their little socks off. JoJo meets her former best mate in a coffee shop containing a sofa even my nan wouldn't have given house room. Not sure what to call the best mate, but she only gets a cracking five minute scene where she leads the JoJo Ma hate, so might as well stick with Abi (don't like the c-word). Abi tells JoJo that JoJo Ma took her kit off in the pub and went a bit crazy while everybody laughed. JoJo is upset and decides to stay and look after JoJo Ma. Ma has other plans, and there's something involving a railway line, a speeding train, and lots of burn marks which leads to her being sectioned. Big Mo comes to take her home, and JoJo takes out a family photo which contains "gasp!" a secret brother! Oh, why did you have to do that EE writers? It was a perfectly respectable and quite sensitive stab at depicting mental illness, and then you stick this lost sibling nonsense at the end. Actually, he looks a bit like Dasbo...

Meanwhile at HMP Lakeland (Bad Girls Wing), LadyDen is settling in nicely; beating up her perky northern cellmate, losing all her clothes, including her push up bra, and ranting about how Princess Shazz will pay...oh yes. Lee confesses that he's lost the bail money, but tries to propose to her anyway. She knocks him back because he's an idiot who puts £25k in a plastic bag with a mad old lady in the house. Lee has a meaningless sexual encounter with a blonde in a nightclub, having tried first to pick a fight with anything male and bigger than him. Somewhere between Thursday and Friday, LadyDen has a complete personality transplant - something to do with remembering her hairdressing life, and being sad that she doesn't bring joy into people's lives with a quick misting and an ineffectual pat. She decides to plead guilty to ODen's murder to prevent any more pain happening to poor Shazza (you've got it wrong LD, causing Shazza pain is A Good Thing). Lee's still very dumped though - 'cos she doesn't want to do ten years and come out to find that he's lost his bus fare or swapped his shoes for some magic beans or something. Lee cries and throws the diamonique engagement ring onto the roof of the Vic. Very symbolic. Bye bye LadyDen. We liked your comedy hair.

Ah Pat...is there a goddess of the Not Very Bright, I wonder? Because if there is, Pat is she in mortal form. First she tells Big Mo outside a law court that Juhneen didn't murder Simpleton, but she did murder Bazza and get away with it, so that's why she's going daaahn. But who should turn up in the corridor but...oh he's been away so long... Furwank. Furwank is there to protect his little gurl, who apparently can become a crack whore, marry and murder an idiot while shagging his neighbour, and let Ian Beale call the shots without Furwank stirring from his sunbed. He takes Pat back to the Novotel and they spend the night together. Next morning, Furwank shows Pat the teddy he's about to give Juhneen and Pat laughs for the nation. He makes a touching speech about being there for his little girl for once in her life. Pat tells him about Bazza's demise. Furwank accuses her of making out that Juhneen is "Pol Pot and Hitler rolled into one". Pat says he's getting the idea. They argue about Bazza's death. Furwank says he deserved to die for wearing slip-on shoes on a Scottish mountainside. He has a point, but slip on shoes aren't that much of a fashion faux pas in these days of geek chic. There are lots of loud arguments in "quiet places". Soon most of London knows that Juhneen didn't murder Siimpleton, so Pat 'fesses up to the prosecutor, who looks cross. Happy Furwank hangs around in the court until chucking out time. Her brief tells him that Juhneen left hours ago without saying goodbye. Furwank is left clutching the bear and mumbling