BURN BABY BURN
Heh, well I'm just as slack as Mark in that I only watched about 45 minutes of EE: the Fall of the House of Moon last week. Well, there was my birthday and the Olympic bid and then some fuckers tried to blow up central London so all in all it was a bit too exciting to be staying in watching telly.

This week I will mostly base my update on a) the 45 minutes of Curly's overacting that I saw and b) the BBC updates.

Monday: Desperate Danny (says the BBC site)
Well, I saw a bit of this. Tony Bennett decides to hold a salsa night to which all the community, even the oldies will come. Despite the fact that salsa nights are ten a penny around London, Curly decides that TB has stolen his idea, and rolls his eyes and shouts a lot to show everybody that he's mad, I tell you, MAD! Bwahaha! Lee is all togged up for an interview at the Job Centre, but Curly's wild antics put paid to all that and he ends up begging LadyDen for another chance or something.

Sham dumps Curly. She's not as dumb as she looks, that girl. She wants a man with more 'ambition', it says here. Nope, Sham, you've got me there love. Now Pat's got the bookie's, maybe lesbianism is the way to go?

Drippy gets some flowers, thinks they're from Fool. They're not, they're from Billeee, who asks her to the salsa night. Drippy: disappointed. Fool: sad. She finds Teen's bracelet behind the now-fixed fruit machine, and LadyDen gets all snappy. Poline tells Shazza that all attempts to leave Walford to frolic in the sun with Denman are DOOMED!

Tuesday: Danny runs riot
More mad Curly. This time he's madly ripping down the salsa night posters. I'm not surprised. They look like Mrs Miggins the choirmistress designed them in AppleWorks v1. Have a word, EE producers. You're supposed to be down the road from Poxditch, where you can throw a Rotring in the air in Shoreditch High St and hit at least seven graphic designer types on the way down.
LadyDen grits her teeth and does a fairly good job of pretending to like Shazz, who is too busy simpering about whether or not she should go to Greece with Denman to notice all the weird twitchy faces and grim smiles. Lee tries to take LD salsa dancing, but Curly gets all weird and crypto on him preferring to go out with LD than Curly, so he makes an excuse.

Poline gets persuaded to go salsa dancing. Curly rips up the poster in the launderette, and evem Denman has to go "Grr! Smash!" to calm him down. Lovely. Lee shouts at Curly and tells him to get lost.

The Bealemeister catches DC Peter playing Devil Ninja Carjacker: East LA and decides that DC Peter would be better off playing badminton. That's right mate, sign the kid's death sentence why don't you? PJane persuades Ian to let DCP do karate.

Thursday: Salsa night in the Square
You'll forgive me for not watching this one under the circs. The salsa teacher appears to be a bloke from Catford in a Louise Brooks wig. He takes a shine to Poline. They're a bit weird that way in Catford. Keith and Patrick play surreal word games in the Vic while LadyDen goes into Twitch Overdrive. She almost confesses all to Lee, but doesn't.

Curly acts mad, does things to Ian round the back of the chip van, and generally enjoys himself with the Ham meter on 11. He shouts a lot: in the club, in the pub, in the square outside TB's house. Then he throws a lighted match on the cheap foam sofa or something, shouts: "wibble!" and runs away.

Friday: Time's Up For Danny
Thank fuck for that. Another ten minutes of full-on overacting, and I'd be ready to kill, I tell you. More shouting. TB forgets that Ruby's safely tucked up in the plot cupboard and runs inside the burning house to rescue her. Curly does lots of twitching and ETina reminds TB that Ruby's in the plot cupboard. TB decides that Curly and Lee Must Pay For Their Crimes, gives them enough time to say goodbye to their loved ones, and drives them off to a dark wood somewhere. Hope it's not the same place that Mad Frankie Knuckles met his doom. It's getting a bit crowded round there. Lots more shouting. Curly screams to relieve the boredom and show off his "panicked" voice for any agents watching. Lee tells TB that he's nothing more than a common criminal thug who likes killing. TB says: "No shit Sherlock" and waves his special multiple killy gun at them both.

Minty and AGarry finally get to share a bed in Gay Pike's old room at Poline's. Fool and Drippy finally get to play tonsil hockey again.